It also helps that like 80+% of the time the guy is the one otaku who is relatively physically fit, reasonably grooms himself, and has at least a modicum of social skills (even though they temporarily have no friends before making 3 dozen)

Every once in a while though you get something like the first few volumes of watamote where the main character is genuinely a fairly reprehensible person who constantly makes things worse every time they try. Though to be fair even that ended up with tomoko somehow gaining a pseudo harem

These kind of anime shows are targeted at the folks who tend to be big anime fans. It’s escapism, showing a world where even they can land the best girl in the school. It’s not meant to be realistic.

Yeah that relationship dynamic doesn’t work.

The gamer side of the relationship sat around all day while I kept up the house and paid the bills and did things like go outside for fun.