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“Mom, what’s that person doing?”
“They’re lying to themselves. Just ignore them.”
‘Uh I’m uh, just doing research for a uh…a friend.’
Just keep shaking your head and frowning
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“See? Totally unaroused. Told you!”
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See you know I’m not gay so you can sit in my lap and let me rub you.
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You knew I would ask for the invite anyway—so kind