Whatever you get, go bagged over bagless for longevity. The bag is an effective first filter as well as crap storage.
Our Miele is still going strong after years of use. It has only ever needed a power switch replaced, which was a 5 minute job.
There was a special time in the XP heyday before WiFi routers (hell, just routers even) were common for home users. Without some kind of AV, loads of folk were basically just rawdogging the Internet with ADSL modems.
Simply being connected this way long enough at the height of the MS Blaster worm would almost guarantee a drive-by infection.
I love those little Lenovo boxes, also recommend.
Proxmox has also been good for me - great for just quickly spinning something up to play with before committing.
Give Librewolf a try. It’s Firefox without the crap.
Just tune down (or don’t) the privacy settings to your level of acceptance. It’s very strict by default.
I’d honeytrap this with a software camera that just plays filth and shock sites on a loop :)
With any luck, they’ll take some of the users bailing out of Reddit on the nostalgia factor, become mediocre, and die. Again.