In the end this ramble will be pretty meaningless until I actually manage to have any actual relationship, cuz its kinda dumb to talk about it never being in one (well technically there was one week long disaster, but that’s not a story for today). Ive got disorders and am well aware of my perception of reality being distorted, which doesn’t mean I actually can recognize these distortions. For some reason, whether those distortions or experience, I consider gay peoples very cool and interesting and it would kinda feel nice to be one of those? I think? Idk, am histrionic, Ive had a history of jokingly flirting with all irl friends regardless of gender, but I did it more for the sport of it than to make it into something serious (don’t do it anymore, realized it was too easy for me to overstep boundaries). Sometimes I get a like on a dating app from a man I would consider really fucking good lookin’, but like, why do they send me a like to never ever respond? I hate dating apps. So yeah, I just wanted to ramble a bit, please yell at me if you mind
It’s not a cop out to like feminine guys. I like androgynous everyone and I consider myself bisexual.
But wanting to be bisexual because gay people seem interesting and cool is not how it works.
At the end of the day, if you want those feminine guys’ dicks in your mouth, you’re bisexual.
Please don’t put that imagery on my mind, I got things to do and that’s one hell of a distraction 😳
Jokes aside, Ive had a history of doubting my own desires and if they came naturally or if I induced them in myself by my own doing. Got a whole list of disorders too, so please don’t take offense if it felt insensitive