After 25 years of suicidal thoughts I’ve finally taken antidepressants, Zoloft was what worked for me.
In a couple of months the black thoughts became more rare and now in a year or so they are almost gone. I don’t feel the active need to kill myself any longer. Which feels… a bit uncanny almost. Not all in life is good, but this specific lack of despair is nice; still really bizarre to not have this endless dread any longer. I try to enjoy that while it lasts.
I did a lot of meditation as well with Headspace, can recommend that too.
I’m glad that you found a medication works for you. Happy to hear that the dark thoughts are gone. I’ve been searching for over 20 years to no avail.
I’m not going to kill myself but I am tired, oh so tired. I just want to be able to wake up one day and feel like everything is okay, without immediately turning to substances the moment I wake up on a work day.
Tried sobriety for a month, and lost my job because of it. Without weed and Kratom I literally cannot function in the workplace. Some minor inconvenience happens; I lose my shit and quit. But when I’m buzzing everything is just fine. Not great, but good enough to get through the day. It’s pathetic. I just want to be able to feel good like my coworkers do naturally. I want to socialize and make friends instead of isolating myself all the time, even with drugs.
I’ll look into “Headspace”; thanks. (Is it an app?)
Life’s not fair, not everyone has the mental stability that is required for a happy life. But we can hope to lessen the pain a bit.
Headspace is indeed an app, with a subscription (not sure what the free plan is, but it helped me so I didn’t care). You can also meditate yourself or with free YT videos of course, but this app worked better for me.
After 25 years of suicidal thoughts I’ve finally taken antidepressants, Zoloft was what worked for me.
In a couple of months the black thoughts became more rare and now in a year or so they are almost gone. I don’t feel the active need to kill myself any longer. Which feels… a bit uncanny almost. Not all in life is good, but this specific lack of despair is nice; still really bizarre to not have this endless dread any longer. I try to enjoy that while it lasts.
I did a lot of meditation as well with Headspace, can recommend that too.
Hope you find your way.
I’m glad that you found a medication works for you. Happy to hear that the dark thoughts are gone. I’ve been searching for over 20 years to no avail.
I’m not going to kill myself but I am tired, oh so tired. I just want to be able to wake up one day and feel like everything is okay, without immediately turning to substances the moment I wake up on a work day.
Tried sobriety for a month, and lost my job because of it. Without weed and Kratom I literally cannot function in the workplace. Some minor inconvenience happens; I lose my shit and quit. But when I’m buzzing everything is just fine. Not great, but good enough to get through the day. It’s pathetic. I just want to be able to feel good like my coworkers do naturally. I want to socialize and make friends instead of isolating myself all the time, even with drugs.
I’ll look into “Headspace”; thanks. (Is it an app?)
It’s tough, respect for holding on as you do.
Life’s not fair, not everyone has the mental stability that is required for a happy life. But we can hope to lessen the pain a bit.
Headspace is indeed an app, with a subscription (not sure what the free plan is, but it helped me so I didn’t care). You can also meditate yourself or with free YT videos of course, but this app worked better for me.
Take care, hope you find some relief.