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another implied fact: the pitcher MEANT to throw a baby, they just didn’t mean to throw a CHRISTIAN baby
There’s actually no evidence the pitcher was ever using a ball. And based off all the information provided it seems likely the pitcher has been throwing babies the entire game!
It’s also never mentioned it’s a baseball game. It says you’re a baseball player, that’s it.
Eigth implied fact : this is truly a game of basebaby (christian league), in which the standard accessory is a strictly regulated baby. It’s a license game, Smokey
So what OOP is saying with their question is that the important attribute about that baby is that it is christian.
Meanwhile to a sane person, the important attribute about the baby is that it is a fucking baby flying through the fucking air!
i like that all you needed was a hit to win but when you see the christian baby, you shift to a home run stance.
That’s because the “millions” you’d win were never contingent on you winning the game. You just made an oddly-specific bet with some really fucked up sports gamblers.
Implied fact: a baby is capable of having a religion, despite its inability to comprehend the concept.
Implied fact: by distinguishing the baby as Christian, there must be non-Christian babies in close proximity.
Actual Implication: You’re supposed to care more about the Christian baby than a non-Christian babies.
What kind of Christian baby? If it’s Pentecostal I’ll hit it out of the park, but a New Southern Reform Anabaptist baby? No way!
Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.
Die, heretic!
I love that there is also the distinct possibility of non-Christian babies up there on the mound, with the pitcher as well.
What happens if the pitcher throws a baby of a different faith? Infield fly rule that leads to a game ending double play?
Some baseball scholars consider any contact between the bat and a Hindu, Sikh or Buddhist baby to be foul bunt, and therfore an automatic strike. A Scientologist, Church of Latter Day Saints or Jehova’s Witness baby on the other hand is considered a fair ball unless caught in flight with runners on first, first and second, first and third, or bases loaded (with less than two out).
