Note: unless you’re deliberately obscuring someone’s gender and know their preferred pronouns, use their preferred pronouns.

  • MajorHavoc@programming.dev
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    18 hours ago

    That’s totally fair, and I’ll keep it in mind.

    I hope my habit makes your life a little easier by normalizing they/them (or just avoiding gendered terms) as an un-interesting default.

    I hope for a world where they/them becomes accepted as “I’m not trusted enough by this person to be told their pronouns yet, and that’s okay.”

    I think asking people to identify their gender, early in a (non-intimate) relationship, is a particularly unhealthy cultural habit. I hope I’m helping push back on that, a bit.

    In the meantime, I’m trying to learn speech habits that don’t force you to gender yourself, or to be noticed in not doing so. I hope to help make these kinds of situations easier for you.

    You shouldn’t have to decide at a random moment whether to share your gender identity with me. I’m committed to keep trying to learn communication patterns that make it natural for you not to have to.