I can’t explain it fully but since couple of years I have this constant feeling that something big is about to happen that is going to change everything.
It’s a bit like being a WW1 soldier waiting in the trenches for an inevitable attack that doesn’t come.
I have adhd so I know the ‘waiting mode’ and this is sort of similar. Honestly I just want it to happen already so we can get this over with no matter what it is.
There is this atmosphere that no matter what you plan for or what you intend to do will ultimately not matter because of some future big changes.
It’s really annoying and only fully cured temporarily by brain muddying amount of weed or to a lesser extent various absorbing hobbies. Or making many hasty and bold decisions in spirit of “now or never”.
Maddening stuff to be honest. I hope whatever must happen will get on with itself already and rather sooner than later.
Yes, then I started reducing my online time significantly and it went almost away.
I read a lot of news and watch videos, and im on here from time to time, so the feeling didn’t go away completely.
But maybe ive just started accepting that it’s ineviteble, so I can handle it better by now.
I mean, it’s obvious that only some very lucky circumstances can prevent us from really dark times, and even in the best circumstances where fascism is prevented and defeated, and common people will get out on top over billionaires, everything will get worse for us for a long time before it gets better.
The thing is I don’t think it is all doom and gloom. I am not scared or afraid of the future whether I should be or not.
It’s like some kind of tension that is progressively stretching the reality until it restructures. It’s not yet red hot but it is easily felt.
Sometimes I wake up and feel like I must’ve shifted into a parrarel universes that night. It’s nothing I could point out, but things feel different for some reason.
I don’t even believe in the concept of parrarel universes.
Tensions are high every where on the world, not just on the battlefield or between governments, but between workmates, neighbours and family.
It takes a toll on us, and were living in a time where we consume endless Information and the least of it is positive, and some of it not even true. We havent had a summer hole for quite some time now.
I think our brains fail to make sense of it all and to turn it into a compelling story, so we’re feeling weird and confused and change our Outlook as a result.
Also, it’s taxing to get hopes destroyed year after year and have to reassamble into a functioning Person once again.
It’s a lot of things that lead to it, but Im sure a lot of people feel similar.