i know it’s not just “teenage hormones” (18f). i cannot yet be given a diagnosis on anything though i will be talking to a psychiatrist. this is really fucked up, i hate this so much.
i’ll be full of energy, all these ideas and motivation. i’ll talk really fast and have no need for sleep.
then, i’ll get depressed. i was doing GREAT all week and today, but now i’m about to cry simply because my friend only spends time with her friend group and never me. i was mad at that and suddenly ready to block everyone but i feel guilty and im mad at myself for being this way.
i know she can hang out with her trio, i know we’re still friends. i normally wouldn’t be mad but i truly think i’m going insane.
Yeah see the doc, preferably one who works with people your age since this does sound like a somewhat amplified version of normal 18yo mood swings. The upswing sounds like so-called hypomania which is less intense and less dangerous than full-on mania (where you go mostly bonkers, spend all your money, and otherwise mess up your life). You may be able to work out behavioral coping strategies rather than suppressing it with drugs. But, again, see your MD, don’t listen to much to us Internet randos.