alcoholic idiot nightmare gamer winemaker
step 9 amends. went in hot. learned more about myself and blackout behaviour I’ve been a mess ever since. rotten feeling. so I’m full send in doing service at the 247 zoom meeting it really helps my woes disappeared and I’m just serene listening to shares. talking and listening to other alcoholics is a great treatment.
I made my first amends. imagine going to someone you’ve harmed and saying I’m trying to stay sober and my next step is doing what I can to clear any disharmony, list off all the horrible shit I did I can remember, then get absolutely steamrolled by way worse shit that I can’t remember but can’t deny? like flattened me like a cartoon. wow. alcoholics have shit memory and I was nowhere near ready. back to step 8
my 31st bday. 31 laps around the sun, drunk as fuck for over half of it. day 37, highscore is 55 let’s gooooo
rainy saturday, got nothing done. pretty good day.
sorry rosa I’ll do better. no harm no foul.
wow that sounds cool. would it be accessible without vr?
I totally relate, I was playing mass effect 2 on insanity and the notorious collector ship seemed so easy, I asked reddit if they nerfed it, they said no it’s og, I realised it’s cause I was 2 months sober not missing any headshots. just click on their heads bro.
34 days, I relapsed on runescape I’m very ashamed please make fun of me I am 30
heck yes high five, sounds like a good day. I would love to have a crack at vr, lightsabers look fun.
court went ok, not going to jail, sentence is April 10. got a meeting in an hour, picking up 1 month coin. first and hopefully last 1 month.
court tomorrow, my sponsor wrote a glowing letter saying ive fully engaged and worked the steps thoroughly, deep soul search and drastic mental, emotional change. being gifted freedom of the constant mental battle is, unreal. there’s more pressure to not fuck up, to go back now would mean double the depression, v probable suicide. I think about taking a drink to trigger that phenomenon of craving, to sit with it to learn. I absolutely won’t, but it’s so interesting that alcoholism was causing 98% of my distress, I didn’t understand how sick I was
does it work, do you feel better? I can relate I have multiple addictions, no hard drugs touch wood. but I’m happy to give you my whatsapp if you’d like to dive in and try untangle the mess, +61 459 506 563
because for me, my perception was warped to insanity, and my world and future improved immeasurably when I stopped for good. life really started improving. i seriously used to think, why take away the one thing that makes me feel good, truthfully I hadn’t felt good in years, i was delusional. wasn’t possible to see from the hole I’d dug. it’s a disease, maybe not in the conventional sense but it is progressive and it will kill me. it talks to me and tells me I don’t have it. cancer does not talk to you.
good meeting on step 2, came to believe power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity… I changed that last word to sobriety cause I felt like the sanity ship sank, but with the spirit healed the mind and body followed. in 31 days I’ve thought about drinking twice. completely new perspective.
like permanent marker ink
changed my name on zoom from davie30days to davie1month, 2month etc actually jumped in a meeting today, been avoiding. saved $2k. straight to lawyers.
hasn’t crossed my mind. starting to think the obsession being lifted is permanent? as long as I keep doing what I’m doing, took time off from everything just needed a break. making amends is rough.
28 shortest month. here I am always looking for the easier softer way
41, highscore is 55. this is usually where I mess everything up and let everyone down, but the mental obsession has been lifted. been doing lots of service and all my worries melted away because I’m focused on helping others, been very good for my mental health, you gotta give it away to keep it.