Whatever happened to, “If I were President, the war would never have happened”

Or is that just a talking point he made up.

Gotta do it from high up. Top of a building with multiple escape routes. Wide area glitter dispersal. Gives time to escape.

Slow to fast, but what about Ramming Speed™?

Chuck Schumer waking anybody up is unusual. Especially when he lowers the eyeglasses on his brow when talking.

No Skibidi Ohio? Has this gone out of fashion?

Gotta turn around to see them

I hope that put a small dent in the Nazi’s finances.

This is the Way. Doesn’t even really need to be a knot either.

With it being that high up off the ground, using the truck bed for any actual purpose is going to be difficult, unless you have an actual semitruck loading bay in your back yard.

But the parent company owns both of those brands though?

I dunno. A sport that uses balls? Never gonna be popular.

Nothing can compete with Basketcube, Basetetrahedra, or Foottesseract.

How many monthly payments (and what rate) do I need to make for this MEGASiZE meal?

I would have told them to bring back Clippy 📎 as an AI companion, but inappropriately erotic. 👠

You win the Internet for today 🖥️ 🏅

What if we persuaded Big Tobacco to take over part of the Donbas, but they gotta fight the Russians first with an army of Marlboro men on Camels?

The real Barbie dream houses are the imaginary friends we made along the way

Free Speech Absolutist, everyone.

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But White House press secretary Caroline Levitt said that it’s an “indisputable fact” that the body of water is called the Gulf of America!

Surely she wouldn’t lie, would she? /s

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