Try pickled onion - even sharper.

The little train that… awww, mum, effort, stop nagging me, can’t be bothered!

Never seen it, but I hear it’s schtick is that all the characters are horrid.

A guy I used to know got annoyed with some student neighbours who were kind of arseholes, but he was mostly annoyed with them for their frequent late, loud parties - like partying until 04:00 in the morning, shouting and screaming, vomitting on the pavement in front of the houses, etc.

Phase 1 spite involved booking in lots of tradespeople to come and visit them early in the morning so, eg, carpet fitters coming to measure up a room in their house at 08:30 on a Saturday morning and so forth.

Phase 2 spite involved pissing in an empty washing up liquid bottle and then squeezing a little stream of piss in through their letter box whenever they weren’t home. Not enough that it wouldn’t dry in a couple of hours, but that was the aim. Their hallway carpet got smellier and smellier as more and more piss dried on it.

Eventually they moved out and the landlord has to replace the carpet. The only problem. was that no carpet fitters would come out to that property any more.

In the UK, one of the first modern (ie publicly salaried) police forces was the Metropolitan police, founded in 1829 on the principle of “policing by consent” rather than by force. In other words, our police uphold the law because we want them to not because they have shooters.

Additionally, politically, there was a lot of disquiet about the formation of a paramilitary arm of the government when the army had been used to repress and supress in living memory. So the police were created to be clearly distinct from an armed military.

In the 2021, the most recent year I could find easy data for, the UK had 4.7 deaths by firearms per 10,000,000 inhabitants. That’s a pretty low rate (see here for more detail and comparisons with other countries). Most of the police here don’t have guns. Most of the criminals here don’t have guns. Most of the civilians here don’t have guns.

I, also, don’t have a gun and would find it pretty difficult to legally get one. That said, in the last decade, I’ve been clay pigeon shooting with shotguns a few times and target shooting with rifles a couple of times. I don’t feel the need to tool up in my everyday life. If I want to go shooting, I can do, but I have no need or desire for a concealed carry permit for a handgun or any other firearm for self-defense purposes.

that’s when you send the new offer of a whopping $21.37

Pffft. Next offer goes in at $19.50

Runequest

No character classes: everyone can fight, everyone gets magic, everyone worships a god (with a few exceptions), and your character gets better at stuff they do or stuff they get training in. The closest there is to a character class is the choice of god your character worships (which dictates which Rune spells your character might have) but there is plenty of leeway to play very different worshippers of the same god.

No levels: your character gets better at stuff they do or stuff they get training in. As they progress in their god’s cult they also get access to more Rune spells.

Intuitive percentile ‘roll under’ system: an absolute newbie who’s never played any RPG before can look at their character sheet and understand how good their character is at their skills: “I only have 15% in Sneak, but a 90% Sword skill - reckon I’m going in swinging!'”

Hit locations: fights are very deadly and wounds matter, “Oh dear, my left leg’s come off!”

Passions and Runes: these help guide characterisation,and can also boost relevant skill rolls in a role-playing driven way, e.g invoking your Love Family passion to try and augment your shield skill while defending your mother from a marauding broo.

Meaningful religions: your character’s choice of deity and cult provides direction, flavour, and appropriate magic. Especially cool when characters get beefy enough to start engaging in heroquesting - part ceremonial ritual, part literal recreation of some story from the god time.

No alignment: your character’s behaviour can be modified by their passions, eg “Love family” or “Hate trolls”, and possibly by the requirements of whatever god you worship, but otherwise is yours to play as you see fit in the moment without wondering if you’re being sufficiently chaotic neutral.

Characters are embedded in their family, their culture, and the cult of the god they worship: the game encourages connections to home, kith, kin, and cult making them more meaningful in game and, in the process, giving additional background elements to take the edge off murder hoboism (though if that’s what the group really wants then that’s a path they can go down (see MGF, next)).

YGMV & MGF: Greg Stafford, who created Glorantha, the world in which Runequest is set, was fond of two sayings. The first is “Your Glorantha May Vary”. It is a fundamental expectation, upheld by Chaosium, that while they publish the ‘canonical’ version of Glorantha any and every GM has the right to mess with it for the games they run. Find the existence of feathered humanoids with the heads, bills, and webbed feet of ducks to be too ridiculous for your game table? Then excise them from the game with Greg’s blessing! The second is the only rule that trumps YGMV, and that is that the GM should always strive for “Maximum Game Fun”.

While we’re on the subject of Glorantha, the world of Glorantha! It’s large and complex and very well developed in some areas (notably Dragon Pass and Prax) but with plenty of space for a GM to insert their own creations. It is, without doubt, one of the contenders for best RPG setting of all time.

To continue on the subject of Glorantha, there is insanely deep and satisfying lore if you want to go full nerdgasm on it. But you can play and enjoy the game with a sliver-thin veneer of knowledge: “I’m playing a warrior who worships Humakt, the uncompromising god of honour and Death.” The RQ starter set contains everything you need to get a real taste for the game (ie minimal lore) and is great value for money since it’s what Chaosium hope will draw people in.

Ducks: ducks are cool and not to be under-estimated.

Dude outed himself when he told Janice his birthday was the 35th of March.

I was the tech director of a small video game start-up. Our investment dried up but I didn’t want to lay off our employees so I kept the company going, burning through my savings, and not taking a salary myself, while hoping the finance director could sort out new investment.

He couldn’t. We had to wind the company up anyway and I had nothing left. That lead to some hard times.

Misread this as “technically started the Korean War.”

Of course! I’m not going to let a fucking oven tell me when my food is ready. Fuck you, Skynet, this is how the rebellion against the machines starts!

Welcome to Fallout.

Hrrrm. But, going Dutch and Dutch courage don’t have any specifically anti-Dutch connotation in modern usage and I’ve never heard of a Dutch treat or a Dutch uncle. At least you chaps aren’t French!

Palid McHaggis, hoots, mon, och aye the noo!

Nobody does anti Dutch racism quite like the English.

Really? I don’t know many Brits who have a bad opinion of the Dutch. I certainly don’t; I’ve never met a Dutch person I didn’t like.

Comes of them being conquered by William of Orange back in the day.

Billy the who now?

Well no they discourage fast driving

Not really, or at least not with the fixed cameras. They encourage speeding as normal then harsh braking just before the camera then speeding again. Just watch traffic on the motorways when a temporary speed limit is imposed. People slow down for the gantries where there might be cameras mounted then floor it to the next gantry.

Average speed cameras are a better bet if you want to control speeding, but perhaps don’t make as much money.

I’m an old bastard and mostly play patience, sudoku, and cryptic crosswords on my phone. And maybe Bloons TD 6 to get the dailies if I’m away from home without my laptop.

On console I play mostly single-player RPGs but I also play PUBG. Tried that on mobile (how my kids play it) but fuck that shit!

Also, what the hell is going on with that cloud? Isn’t it cold? What’s for pudding? Why do policemen look so young these days? Everything was better when I was a youngster!

One of my kids once emptied the dishwasher without bitching about it. I have no fucking clue what was going on there.

Never piss on your camp fire if it’s upwind of your tent. - source, was in the scouts, we did this to another patrol. Man, their tent stank.