Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky.

#fedi22

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • “He’s a great, just a great doctor, very talented, very knowledgeable, many say, a lot of clever people, very clever people who know a lot, they say he’s maybe the best mind doctor, the best, definitely, head-mending doctor, and I know, I know him, he’s a great friend, and people say did I need a shrink, which is funny really, he said I have the greatest sanity, I’m more sane, than the sanest he’s ever seen and, truly, he’s a super clever guy, smart, real smart, a lot of people say so, and I didn’t need to see him but we’re just friends, we have dinner together and did I mention he’s such a good cook, I mean Michelin stars, this guy should have Goodyear stars, right, buy American, but anyway, he cooks so good and he said I have the best mental balance of anyone he’s ever met and he knows, he knows, I mean he’s the expert in… in… expert in… expert…covfefe.”











  • A guy I used to know got annoyed with some student neighbours who were kind of arseholes, but he was mostly annoyed with them for their frequent late, loud parties - like partying until 04:00 in the morning, shouting and screaming, vomitting on the pavement in front of the houses, etc.

    Phase 1 spite involved booking in lots of tradespeople to come and visit them early in the morning so, eg, carpet fitters coming to measure up a room in their house at 08:30 on a Saturday morning and so forth.

    Phase 2 spite involved pissing in an empty washing up liquid bottle and then squeezing a little stream of piss in through their letter box whenever they weren’t home. Not enough that it wouldn’t dry in a couple of hours, but that was the aim. Their hallway carpet got smellier and smellier as more and more piss dried on it.

    Eventually they moved out and the landlord has to replace the carpet. The only problem. was that no carpet fitters would come out to that property any more.