When I run out of the solar system I’m going to move on to Star Wars.

Ok then apparently his play store must have gotten hidden somehow. My theory is that he just fucked up.

I’ve named my last few computers after planets, with disks named after moons.

When I worked at Microsoft they had all kinds of clusters - OurGang with Spanky, Darla, Alfalfa… Addams with Gomez etc, Disney with Mickey, etc.

Limited edition cheese - grated, plated and curated!

Just 2 more payments, gentlemen, and this beautiful 12-slot luxury egg carton is all mine!

What’s weird to me is that the first one pays for their vacations and the second one pays their mortgage. If I had rental properties I would do it the other way around.

Speaking of not being able to delete system apps, a friend of mine with a Pixel phone says Google Play cannot be uninstalled from it. Anybody know for sure?

Nah, the magic system is fine, they just didn’t use it right. Example: Snape wondering if somebody is there. “Accio Invisibility cloak!” Boom, Harry’s standing there visible and Snape has his cloak!

Have a yabba dabba do time, a dabba do time…

Everybody who trusts the United States, say “Aye!”

…

Anybody here? ^{…body here?}

It’s simple, when Trump sees a bus he throws something under it.

I thought it was just me getting older and my eyes getting worse, but headlights have really gotten ridiculous in the last 20 years or so. Related pet peeve is people walking at night in dark clothes, not even looking up when they cross the street.

Anybody tries to kill you, you try and kill 'em right back.

Lightning bugs swarm??? That’s simultaneously awesome and terrifying, or maybe terrifyingly awesome. Now I want to see a lightning bug swarm even more than an intense meteor storm.

We don’t have any such things here in Darkonia.

OWW! Fucking coffee table!

“She was worth it,” is another example of a complete sentence.

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I’ve always done my taxes ASAP and always avoided the traffic jam to get them in the mail on the last night. One year I was particularly happy about this, then on the night of April 14 my gf called up - “Can you drive me to the post office before midnight?” So there I sat in the traffic jam with all the other schmucks. I remember postal workers with shopping carts were going from car to car.

I remember learning that most atoms heavier than hydrogen and helium came from supernovas and it blew my mind. It was explained in a book in the college library that I checked out for no reason other than it being fascinating.

It also talked about dendrochronology - the science of dating wooden objects like boats and buildings by the tree rings in the wood. Rings from different trees of known ages have been matched with trees from other eras with partially overlapping patterns, creating timelines that span thousands of years. These can be matched up with wood used by humans, in some cases pinpointing the exact year the wood was cut down.

There was a chapter about how magnetic particles in rocks line up with north when the rocks form. Measuring how far off they are tells us about the movement of the land they’re on, helping map continental drift.

I’m just scratching the surface - this book covered a broad range of subjects. The jacket said it was meant to be a textbook for an introductory course in cosmology. This was all way back in the 1970s and for many years I’ve struggled to find this book again. I even physically looked for it in the library during a college reunion. No idea of the title or authors.

“Stop being intolerant that I’m a fucking asshole!”