Haha I’m the same. My wife’s a mechanical engineer whos very good with tools. She fixes all the shit in our house, she just makes me hold stuff when she needs another set of hands, then when she releases me I run away from the loud noises
So this legitimately happened in Chicago ten years ago, fortunately it went nowhere: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_Express_Loop
The most frustrating part is that WE ALREADY HAVE A COMMUTER RAIL FROM DOWNTOWN TO O’HARE, it just only runs three times a day, and only on weekdays.
Someone has read up on the Simple Sabotage Field Manual
I did something like this once. I was meeting a friend at a bar and she was with another guy I never met. I had just moved back to the US from Germany, so she introduced me and said “he just moved here from Germany,” not realizing that it wasn’t clear I was American. So he starts asking me how I like it here etc, and I threw on a German accent and went with it (I speak some German too). I pretended that my English was a bit rough but could get by.
We hung out for like two hours and then when I got ready to leave I dropped the accent and said in my normal Midwestern American voice “Ok cool to hang with you bro imma head out,” and left.
Seriously my first thought if I saw this all occurring and my kid came complaining to me about it is I’d just say “well this is how the cat feels”