Modern media spin would say Hitler’s just really pumped to see his country compete in the Olympics. He can barely contain his masculine vigor, like any true patriot. 🇺🇲🏈🥇

But I was told they all wake up at 4am for their 15 mile morning jog before a carefully balanced breakfast of a protein supplement and ancient grains. How could they take drugs?? The billionaire body is a sacred temple!

Canes have a rich history in Congress