I always assume that my brain is structured in a way that at least 5% of people could relate to my general thought processes, but it turns out that some of my experiences of being a human are really just a “me” thing. I’ve often told myself that I’m just like everyone else, and that all of my personality traits are explainable by a mishmash of stereotypes and systemic influences. But I guess there’s more to it than that, and I’ve been selling myself a bit short.

    • sprigatito_bread@lemmy.worldOP
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      12 hours ago

      I used to think it required an emotional connection for most people to find someone else “hot,” because that’s how I work. But it turns out that I’m in a small minority.

      • I can appreciate æsthetics independently of emotion.

        But I need emotion to get “turned on”.

        So I’m in this weird space where I can admire the looks of people (in about the same way that most people admire scenery) without wanting to fuck same (in about the same way that most people don’t want to fuck a forest … or a couch).

        • sprigatito_bread@lemmy.worldOP
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          3 hours ago

          I’ve heard that’s called aesthetic attraction! I experience that too.

          I’m attracted to gentle and caring personalities, and I’ve found that I am most aesthetically attracted to soft, rounded features, seemingly because I subconsciously associate them with kindness and approachability, regardless how true that actually is.

          I think it’s really fascinating how my aesthetic attraction seems to have taken input from my emotional attraction without me even being consciously aware of it. The more I learn about myself, the more it seems like my brain was orchestrating a plan to create a specific kind of relationship, and all of my attractions and even my own gender expression were coordinating to make it real.

      • untorquer@lemmy.world
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        9 hours ago

        I’ve grown into this way of thinking and feeling. I used to see attractiveness in aesthetics with emotional connection as an after thought.