I have been having a really tough time with emotional regulation for several months. Every slight irritation feels like fucking nails on chalkboard, where something like buying the wrong thing at the store and not noticing until I get home might make me want to scream and throw things. I don’t, but a lot of the time with annoyances I just loudly swear as kind of a pressure release and when it’s really bad Ive been white knuckling it so as not to hit myself or throw shit. Normally I just let out a loud “FUCK” or “GOD DAMNIT”. Not screaming, but much louder than I talk
My partner is from a normal healthy family so me raising my voice or just exasperatedly saying “fuck”, not at him, but at the thing, is really upsetting to him. I don’t see the big deal because my mother is a fucking cyclone of screaming and chaos so I’m very tame in comparison. But, I know it’s something I need to try to control, I guess, but I feel like I can’t. It’s just an instinctive reaction, especially when there are a couple mistakes/annoyances stacked on eachother.
Any advice if you struggle with this? I go to therapy and my therapist sucks so thats not helpful right now
I have a watch that has a completely smooth seconds hand sweep like some of those big wall clocks used to do and I stare at it until I feel like moving onto my next task.
Basically anything to distract yourself for a moment to stop the cycle of anger buildup. I like shiny things, but it could be whatever you like!
oh man that actually sounds like it would be really soothing and perfect that you can keep it with you at all times. I think a physical distraction like that could be really helpful. Since I’ve been wanting to self-harm, I was thinking about getting a pain stim toy, like the spiky keychains that I can just squeeze. Might look into that. Or a watch that’s similar tbh when I read that it instantly made me want to zone out lol. Thanks for the idea!
Yup I struggled heavily with my mental health in the classic mid-20s age where they really show up to party. It’s just a little thing to help in the moment, and move on to my next thought.
For me it was all about recognizing the cycle and asking myself 1) what can I do right now about this problem, 2) if I can’t do something now, can I do something later and schedule it on my calendar?, and 3) if I truly can’t do anything about it, pack it away to some mental corner and abandon it.
This was mostly for work situations and I don’t pretend to have mastered my inner self or anything, but it really taught me what “being kind to yourself” means. We’re not going to spontaneously vaporize because something bad happened. I just try to remember that time flows on and our lives are finite and act accordingly.