I consider myself to be a straight ally, and I feel very passionate about it.
I attend a church that is Open and Affirming (Methodist). I volunteer for a cancer charity on days when I am not working, and the supervisor is openly gay and married to his husband.
He is one of the nicest people I have ever met, and the thought that I have family members, friends/mutual acquaintances who would tell him that “following Jesus” would require him to separate from his husband makes me extremely angry.
I feel anger not just toward conservative Christians I know but also toward conservative Christians more generally.
For example, simply knowing that someone attends a conservative church makes me automatically distrust them and doubt their good intentions.
When I say “conservative”, I do not mean the obviously bigoted, sign-waving, “God hates you”, Westboro’ Baptist-style fundies.
I am talking about the “nice” ones.
The ones who will smile at you, serve you coffee, and maybe even have you over for lunch, but still tell you “lovingly” that you are “living in sin and needing to repent”.
Those are generally the type of Christians I know and have met.
How do you prevent yourself from becoming too hateful towards them and continue extending Christlike love to those who are supposedly your brothers and sisters?
as wise people in my life would say: hate the sin, not the sinner.
unfortunately, I have no great advice for you. my parents attend a “nice” church as well, but I do not attend due to the points you’ve made in your post.
I would suggest treating these people with kindness and logically explain why you hold your position. if presented with kindness and love (leave the hatred they preach behind), they will eventually come around.
I know its easier said than done, but this is something that I’ve applied to in different parts of my life and it has opened doors and changed lives. good luck and lmk if you have any questions with what I stated 🙂
Saying hate the sin not the sinner is just code to hate gay people but pretend you don’t. That is never used in a loving context.
fair point. in my opinion, those people are not real christians because I can guarantee they also engage in sinful activities
Here’s a thought experiment for you; There’s a kid on the block who’s dad beats him and he takes out his frustrations by terrorizing all the other kids on the block. It’s easy to hate the things he does and wish him harm, but the truth is that he’s already being harmed. The wish that Jesus would approve of is to desire for his dad to stop beating him and for him to emerge from his pain as a more compassionate person able to spread that compassion further.
That doesn’t mean saying ‘well his dad is mean to him so he has the right to act how he does’. It also doesn’t mean ‘go hurt the dad’ because the dad is being tormented by something as well. It’s about wanting to someday be able to sit down with this person and have them say, ‘Wow, I used to be such an asshole.’
People want think heaven is a reward you get for passing a test. Like you can study up and as long as you tick all the boxes the door unlocks and you can go inside. Nuh huh. Heaven is the shape your soul achieves by trying to embrace care of others as a sincere personal goal.
There’s a story about something called a ‘cargo cult’, in ww2 western civilization and technology came to the pacific islanders by means of the military coming in, building a runaway and a conning tower, and lighting lights so military planes could land with amazing Cargo, some of which were traded with the natives. After the war, the islanders would routinely go clear out patches of jungle, make a runway and a tower, light torches and pray for the cargo to return. This is the status of modern Christian Nationalism, all of the trappings and words but none of the soul or substance. The words and the churches and the books and all the candles and songs and snacks are just the trappings, the visible bits, and focusing on that does not achieve the real goal. The real bit Jesus was talking about was taking the person you hate the most in this world and helping them in their time of worst need because you know in your very own heart that they’re a scared anxious person and not just a nasty stain upon the surface of the world.
Feel free to downvote what I say, because I consider Thomas Ragland’s book “The Eightfold Path of Christ” to be part of the proof that the New Testament is filled-with that the root-guru of the Christians, benJoseph, was pouring AwakeSoulism/Buddhism into the “land of reachable sinners”, the Semitic heart of the Roman Empire, who needed it most… & his “lost years” actually were in Hindu, then Buddhist, studies, in India…
( the Gospel of Mary, either Karen King’s translation or Mark M. Mattison’s translation, also contains Buddhism, but it is esoteric stuff, not easily recognized by people who’ve only encountered the sutra meanings, I think, like “Space Conqueror”, & the stainless doctrine that Soul-ignorance can’t permanently-own any Soul: it’s just a transient-condition, etc… )
Orient to the Continuum/Soul, not to the personality or incarnation that you’re facing.
Accept their Souls, care-for & love their Souls, as one’s brother’s, as one’s own, as one’s mother’s, while standing your ground & yielding nothing to their war against the entire essence of what benJoseph was putting in the world.
Let-go-of person attachments, & do what you have to do.
Remember, benJoseph promised not to bring peace, but fire/war: that’s coming, this next decade…
( the seedling he planted is become now a sapling, & the storm is coming in… : )
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