Long story short, I’ve known that I was trans long before I had even heard the word. There were signs as early as 4 years old and I knew by the time I was 8. I’m in my late 30’s now and I had come to a kind of peace about not transitioning. It’s something that I want but because of life, family, and a lot of fear I decided not to.
Recently a very close friend who I’ve know for decades came out to me as a trans woman.
I want to tell her about myself but I’m worried about planting seeds of doubt about her transition because I’ve known I was trans for so long and yet haven’t started transitioning myself. I’m afraid that if I try and explain why that she might internalize my reasons. If that makes sense. I’ve never told anyone my truth and I’d so love to have someone to talk to about it. Especially since my friends transition is causing me to second guess myself.
I would appreciate some thoughts on whether I should tell my friend.
Your friend probably needs a lot of support right now, and to feel that she’s not alone. It might also give you a chance to reconsider whether or not you’re okay with being eternally closeted, and give you the opportunity to be yourself as well.
Granted, I still don’t have a lot of experience in this area, buuuuut… Having a supportive trans friend would have caused me to come out of the closet way sooner than I did, simply because I would have felt like I can fully be me around them; something which they probably need as well.
Thank you, I want to provide all the support I can.
She’s definitely already caused me to reconsider. I’ve thought about it every day for months.
You’ve been thinking it about it every day for months. You need to do it. Speaking as someone who started transistioning within a year of sobering up, you’ve been masking the pain of dysphoria with narcotics. That will kill you. And the dysphoria will get worse as you age. Do you talk to a therapist?
