Tagline

The Greatest Action Movie Never Made

Elevator pitch

  • Mexican Steven Seagal vs ninjas

Summary

An “unreleased” 80s action movie about a hero cop who takes on the Mexican Yakuza (in shiny red ninja outfits), who make sacrifices to a shark god.

Trailer

Full Movie

Details

Unless otherwise stated, all full movie links I post are for free, no account required, licensed (AFAIK, IANAL) streaming VOD in English (or original language with English subtitles) and work at time of writing in my location, Mexico. Availability and language options may be different in your location. Asterisk by the one I watched.

Legal stream finders

Info

Personnel

  • Director, Writer & Producer: Gerardo Preciado

Cast

  • “Ricky Valente”

Opinion

Shark Week is here, and I wanted to start off with a bang. Unfortunately, I chose Narco Shark. I love the posters for Narco Shark and sequel Narco Sharks and it sounds good on paper. But I hate the actual film. It’s like an experimental student film. A bad, dull one. With almost zero shark or narco action! (I’m sure there’s some ironic justification for that.) I fell asleep in the middle, and restarted it the next day but just couldn’t be arsed to finish it.

If you want to watch a no-budget action flick filmed on the mean streets of the developing world, watch Bad Black.

If you want to watch a parody of 80s action & martial arts flicks, watch Kung Fury.

If you want to watch a self-aware shark movie, watch a Sharknado.

Any of those is a million times more fun than Narco Shark.

Screenshots

Narco Shark - Mexican Yakuza Red Ninjas

The ninjas of the Mexican Yakuza

Narco Shark - Title

Title

Narco Shark - eyeballs

Ricky holding the eyeballs of a passerby who pissed him off.

Narco Shark - Ricky serenades his wife

Ricky serenades his wife’s arse with his sexy sax.

Narco Shark - Boxing shark
If you drink every time you see a shark in this movie, you might get mildly tipsy.

Please don’t let the screenshots trick you into thinking this movie is more fun than it actually is.