I’ve come to see this issues in a particular way, but I don’t mean in any way to invalidate anyone’s feelings or identity, let that be clear.

Transness is defined by the transphobes the same as race is defined by the racist, in a world without transphobia we would not think of trans/cis people, just people.

I’ll explain through a personal example. I myself am more or less in the same boat as you (tho I’m amab and usually viewed universally as a man specially up close), but I haven’t suffered the same discrimination as trans people ever. Damn I use the women bathrooms a lot of times and no one has given me any shit. With race is the same, my sister and I have the same parents (and therefore same genetic ancestry) but she’s dark skinned and I can get sunburnt in January, her hair’s black/dark brown and mine’s dark blonde, her curls are more kinky than mine, and her nose is flat and mine pointy. When stopped by the police they asked her for ‘her papers’ and me my id card. I’ve never got racist comments from teachers, been followed in a store, or asked to pay in a bar before being served while the other (white) people weren’t. She has.

So I am not trans or racialized, because I don’t share the struggle of trans and racialized people. It can even depend on the context, I think. In some place and time (or any other million factors) I can consider a person trans (or racialized) while I wouldn’t if they were in a different context.