I mean I am AFAB and I do identify as a girl but also I don’t feel entirely binary. I guess I wasn’t assigned Nonbinary at birth but it still feels weird to say I’m trans when I’m AFAB and present and act like and call myself a girl. I don’t know, help me out here people.
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You could just not be boxing yourself into your gender. It’s perfectly fine to be like “yeah I’m cis but it’s not a big deal to me”
Everyone else is saying it, you get to choose and no one else.
I’m non-binary on feminizing hormones, so I feel like I’ve got quite a lot in common with trans women in particular. I’ve always half jokingly called myself a transfemby, I think it’s a fun term and places me exactly on the gender spectrum where I feel like I should be. Even if my expression day to day is fluid, it’s still accurate because I feel the fem things about me aren’t as permeable. (In the sense that an identity can be permeable, but it’s in theme with gender fluid heh)
Being able to choose the language to talk about your gender identity is the best, it’s a great chance for some self expression imo.
I’ve come to see this issues in a particular way, but I don’t mean in any way to invalidate anyone’s feelings or identity, let that be clear.
Transness is defined by the transphobes the same as race is defined by the racist, in a world without transphobia we would not think of trans/cis people, just people.
I’ll explain through a personal example. I myself am more or less in the same boat as you (tho I’m amab and usually viewed universally as a man specially up close), but I haven’t suffered the same discrimination as trans people ever. Damn I use the women bathrooms a lot of times and no one has given me any shit. With race is the same, my sister and I have the same parents (and therefore same genetic ancestry) but she’s dark skinned and I can get sunburnt in January, her hair’s black/dark brown and mine’s dark blonde, her curls are more kinky than mine, and her nose is flat and mine pointy. When stopped by the police they asked her for ‘her papers’ and me my id card. I’ve never got racist comments from teachers, been followed in a store, or asked to pay in a bar before being served while the other (white) people weren’t. She has.
So I am not trans or racialized, because I don’t share the struggle of trans and racialized people. It can even depend on the context, I think. In some place and time (or any other million factors) I can consider a person trans (or racialized) while I wouldn’t if they were in a different context.
Trans means gender different from what was assign to you at birth.
Therefore if you wasn’t born assigned as non-binary, your trans. Of course as someone who’s non binary, I know that can be a lot of different things so maybe by default nonbinary is always trans?
Also gender expression and gender identity are two separate things. You can be a cis guy and be feminine looking and still not be trans. Remember, clothing and what you present doesn’t dictate what gender you are.
Trans means gender different from what was assign to you at birth.
The trans-prefix means ‘across’ , ‘on the other side of’. Personally I consider that to mean that transgender = on the opposite side of the spectrum from where you were assigned at birth. So male -> female or female -> male (usually). I wouldn’t automatically consider a non-binary person trans, because they effectively reject the spectrum altogether (so they can’t be ‘on the other side’ of it either).
To me that’s what makes most sense, but as stated elsewhere in this thread it really, really doesn’t matter. Pick whatever labels feel comfortable for your, or pick none at all if none seem to fit best.
Just wanna echo everyone more crassly: it doesn’t fucking matter. Thinking of being trans/any label is just for you to feel comfortable with and maaaybe communicate your experience more succinctly to others. So if you feel it describes you, use it for yourself, if not, don’t. If anyone is giving you trouble for “appropriation”, fuck them (or maybe don’t), that’s their issue and not yours.
✨You can choose who you wish to be and I personally feel that that’s all that matters✨
Labels/descriptors are helpful when communicating with others but don’t forget that sometimes they can be lacking and we shouldn’t feel restricted by them🤗
The right answer is whatever feels correct to you.
Personally, I have thought of it like a scale from 0:1, with all the possibilities between them being trans and the endpoints being the two binary genders. However, the more gender theory you read, the less helpful that seems.
I believe Forrest Valkai said that Biology is moving towards the idea that gender is a spectrum. So your thought seems to mirror that.
The white stripe on the flag represents non-binary people. And being trans is to identify with something (entirely or even partially) other than what you were assigned at birth. If you weren’t assigned non-binary at birth then the trans label is fitting if you feel comfortable using it 🫶
That makes sense, it still feels weird to say like if I said I was trans or trans-nonbinary people would think I’m transfem and maybe think I’m apropriating when they learn I’m AFAB.
I’m technically bi, but I don’t lead with that because it’d probably give people the impression that my attraction is balanced between genders. Totally fair to not lead with “trans” if you don’t want to deal with that.
That makes sense probably should lead with saying I’m AFAB and Nonbinary, then say I’m trans so no one gets the wrong idea. People thinking I’m appropriating probably isn’t a real issue, it’s probably just something my autistic brain made up because I overthink things way too much and also am afraid of pissing people off.
I mean, labels are all shorthand for others to understand your lived experience, yeah? Some people who are non-binary call themselves trans, some don’t, and both groups are equally valid. Some people who are non-binary live comfortably with the same gender presentation as what they got assigned at birth, and that’s just as valid. Ditto for binary people, trans or otherwise.
Who you are inside you is what’s important, the rest is just stuff to help others get an idea of it if/when you choose to share.
I think that if I said without any context that I’m trans people might think I’m transfem, or if they knew I was AFAB they might think I’m trying to appropriate transfem experiences. I like the trans flag and think it’s cute (I’ve even thought of getting thigh highs like these but I worry people will get the wrong idea and think I’m apropriating trans women).
People might assume that sure, but you can also always add more context and clarify if you want. It’s always up to you what you want to share about yourself. There’s also a lot of overlap between transfem experiences and other groups, it’s not like one group has a monopoly on everything they experience. Plenty of cis women wear thigh highs, for example, and some cis men even.
The trans flag is cute! i like it a bunch too.
You won’t be appropriating anything, friend! You are free to feel out your gender and identify as trans if that is what makes sense to you, From what you’ve described you’ve got gender stuff™ going on, so fly your flag!
Also, other trans and enby people who see those colors on you will feel safer in your presence and you’ll be sending a signal about trans stuff being okay in general, so even if you weren’t trans why would anyone object?
That’s very true, you make very good points. I often have this problem that I end up overthinking things and worry too much that people will get upset with me. Also that’s very true, you make a great point about other people seeing the colors and feeling safer whether I’m trans or not.
There isn’t some amount of transness you need to have to be worthy of the identifier. If you vibe with it, you’re welcome to it, and if you don’t feel like it accurately describes your journey, it’s perfectly fine to not use it.
I’m genderfluid and am AMAB, and I present very masc but I do also consider myself trans.
Hmm, that is a good point. Maybe this issue I’ve imagined isn’t an issue at all. Probably one of those things I overthink way too much when it’s not at all as complicated or problematic as I thought it was. I’ve thought people would think I’m transfem or appropriating transfems if I say I’m trans but that’s probably not as much an issue as I think it is.
Enby’s are trans
