Utter_Karate [he/him, comrade/them]

If you try to call your wife to say hello it automatically calls emergency services and reports her as a dissident instead. And then the person at emergency services who took the call is executed for even hearing about dissident opinions.

What he meant to say is that he will beat them both to hell.

Willing to pay any woman with pink hair to tell him that he needs to stop because his drug use is destroying the intersectional spirit of inclusivity in America.

It’s not working. He should do more drugs.

Are you still allowed to officiate weddings after that thing that happened last time?

I don’t find it believable that anyone would willingly focus on that repulsive place.

Quick! Send two more guys down there to extract their cum before it is too late!

Does this victory celebration mean that the war is over and they are going to stop escalating toward Armageddon?

I know this Star Wars character! That’s Luke Vader!

Actually, to put it in medical terms his generation are more familiar with he was diagnosed with “An unnatural abundanse of the black bile and with waning phlegm, as in those stricken with the Kingsevil or leprosy most foul”, but I guess “aggressive prostate cancer” is what the kids call it on their TikTok now.

The top fell off because they’re terrible engineers and this delayed the launch because they’re cowards. The engines should still be on there unless that was too spicy for their Australian nerves.

I want to hear what Trump has to say about this right now.

Exterior, public, private, official, industrial, terrain, display, judicial, executive, legislative, royal, ballistic, surface-to-air, air-to-surface, sexually transmitted, airborne, free market, centrally planned, educational and single use. Did I miss any?

Still young enough to PARTY!

Clean uss! Trivial Pursuit is boarguys!

Driving around in his popemobile, the fumes from his special consecrated gasoline venting directly into the sealed driver’s compartment, with four Swiss guards in there with him firing their weapons full auto into the bulletproof roof at all times. Weeks of eating nothing but communion wafers, no sleep ever. He pulls up to the White House at 200 mph and slams the door open. The Swiss guard, still bleeding from their ears and crazed with gasoline fumes, gunpowder smoke and special papal blessings launch out of the car like racing hounds, the pope following at a full sprint. It’s time for JD Vance to meet the new pope.

Kind of boring pope name. Now the power move here would have been to take the name God I.

In Sweden they test the air raid alarms every first Monday of the month in case the Russians attack, which apart from being ridiculous is counterproductive because everyone just learned to zone out the air raid sirens. I have been raised since birth to ignore air raid sirens and I’m really good at it by now. Air raid sirens do not make me lose focus on what I am doing, they don’t interrupt coversations since you just move a bit closer and speak a bit louder without thinking, they certainly do not wake me up, etc. If they ever turn them on in a real crisis these might not be good skills to have.

My God… That is more than a kiloHegel per month you speedreading maniac.

All the fighting seems to be about if it should be called the “Gulf of Mexico” or the “Gulf of America”. The solution here is to give both parties what they want. Drop the “Gulf of” that no one seems to be up in arms about and just call it “Mexico America”.