Mine is (paraphrasing) “We’re evil tricksters that will make you contradict the US Department of State” or something like that.
“Bullshit dude, bullshit. I once ate a tray of 24 assorted muffins: blueberry, lemon poppy-seed, cranberry apple, banana nut, even bran. Large muffins too, like you’d buy at the bakery, not grocery store mini-muffins. I ate the first five or six out of hunger, and the next dozen I can only attribute to gluttony, but the last half dozen were devoured by determination alone. A part of me wanted to stop— I was full, the muffins had become repulsive, and there was a disconcerting pressure in my chest. The other, stronger part of me knew that if I gave up on that muffin platter I would admit limitation. A limited man can rationalize his every weakness, turn away from every challenge, live his life within the narrow confines of comfort; that’s not how I live my life. But I digress. It took six days for my bowels to move, and when they did I shat a monolithic muffin block so wide it could not be flushed, so dense it would not dissolve with repeated flushing, and so heavy it took two hands to lift. The measure of anxiety, pain, pride and love is indescribable, so don’t tell me I don’t understand childbirth.”
it was so good that I had to translate it so I could torment all the people I know with it.
I remember seeing this copypasta before, but I can’t remember where or what language it originated in (I wanna say Arabic?)
Paraphrasing
Are you asking if my shrimp are married?
are you implying your shrimp are living in sin?
Shrimp living in sin almost killed me the first time I read it
There are exactly two taglines that contain the word shrimp:
Are you asking me if I gave my shrimp a wedding?
Are you implying your shrimp are living in sin?
The other one
No everything has to be serious at all times and we cannot find any humor in the absurdity of hell world. The last time I smiled was on August 19th, 1991. I wear a dirty ushanka at all times, do not shave, and only take cold sponge baths because hot running water is bourgeoisie decadence. Every day at exactly noon I have the same meal of an expired Maoist MRE I store in a pit covered in old issues of a revolutionary newspaper. I sleep in a bed made of flags from every failed revolution so that they are never forgotten. In the evenings I stare at a picture of vodka by candlelight, but I do not allow myself to drink because there is nothing to celebrate. Every local org has banned me after I attempted to split it by assassinating the leadership. There is no plumbing in my house I shit in a brass bucket with a picture of Gonzalo and Deng french kissing in the bottom of it. My house is actually an overturned T34 in an abandoned junkyard in Wisconsin. I have a single friend in this world and it is a tapeworm named Bordiga that I met after ingesting spoiled borscht on 9/11 in the ruins of building 7 (I blew it up after finding that a nominally leftist NGO inside of it wasn’t sufficiently anti-imperialist, the attacks on the world trade center were a perfect revolutionary moment for me to enact direct praxis against liberalism). My source of income is various MLM schemes in the former soviet bloc that have been running for so long no one remembers who I am, they just keep sending money. I have not paid taxes since McGovern lost the Democratic nomination for president and my faith in electoralism died more brutally than my childhood dog after it got into an entire jar of tylenol. I own 29 fully automatic rusted kalashnikovs and three crates of ammunition entirely incompatible with them or any other firearms I own. My double PHD in marxist economics and 18th century Swiss philosophy (required to understand Engels) sits over the fireplace of my home, my fireplace is a salvaged drum from a 1950s washing machine that was recalled for locking children inside of it. I chose that washing machine model on purpose because I am anti-natalist. During the latest BLM protests I firebombed a Nikes outlet in the middle of a peaceful candlelit vigil. William F Buckley and I wrote hatemail to one another for 47 years until my final letter gave him an aneurysm. The only water I drink is from puddles. George Lucas and I dropped acid together during an MKULTRA southern baptist summer camp and he went on to write the movie Willow about our time together. The best way to test whether an electrical wire is live is to drool on it and shrimp salad is racist. You can make an IED out of potassium and the instructions are online thanks to Timothy McVey, who was actually a committed antifascist communist slandered by the deep state as part of operation condor. Every time a liberal files a restraining order against me, I carve a mark into the wall. I am running out of walls. When Amerika finally collapses I will be ready to lead the revolution. I am very smart and people like being around me.
I like the one that describes the most insufferable person ever and ends ‘im very funny and people like being around me’
This one, it’s
Becoming a transgender Marxist cult sounds like goals tbh
I love “Bit idea” followed by a long ass binary code. Took me way too long to check what it meant
What it means
A pig with poop on its balls
Bit idea: QSBwaWcgd2l0aCBwb29wIG9uIGhpcyBiYWxscw==
(It’s Base64)
Bit idea (copy this in your browser address bar): data:image/jpeg;base64,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
you motherfucker
Though obviously we can’t forget the famous
the official ideology of the united states of america is hitlerism-john wayneism columbine thought
They get better everytime, lmao
Death to ameriKKKa
“BadEmpanada is like Mao in that he has some good takes and bad takes. He is unlike Mao in that Mao wasn’t a youtuber.”
Is that why hexbear is slow sometimes? because too many of us are reloading the page at the same time to get more funny taglines?
The ones I said
I’m hopeful they’re the “this is funny” kind of tagline and not the “look at this idiot” kind
The one about living in an upturned T-72, but any of the ones that take up half the screen are good. The one about the 3DO games is one of my favorites too.
3DO one
Not even trying to sign up for an account any more. Just bragging to you that I have a ODE-modded 3DO now can now play games so good I don’t have the need nor time to post here any more. I’m talking about Belzerion. I’m talkin’ Dino Park Tycoon. I’m talkin’ Dennou Hyouryuu - Multimedia Cruising. I’m talking ‘bout Dragon Tycoon Edge. Gex. Immercenary: Combat In A Digital World. The Life Stage: Virtual House. Fuckin’ Strahl. Lucienne’s Quest. I’m talking about Ballz: The Director’s Cut, the first video game director’s cut. I will be the first person to speed run N.O.B. Neo Organic Bioform and I will be championed. Enjoy your little posts, I guess.
No everything has to be serious at all times and we cannot find any humor in the absurdity of hell world. The last time I smiled was on August 19th, 1991. I wear a dirty ushanka at all times, do not shave, and only take cold sponge baths because hot running water is bourgeoisie decadence. Every day at exactly noon I have the same meal of an expired Maoist MRE I store in a pit covered in old issues of a revolutionary newspaper. I sleep in a bed made of flags from every failed revolution so that they are never forgotten. In the evenings I stare at a picture of vodka by candlelight, but I do not allow myself to drink because there is nothing to celebrate. Every local org has banned me after I attempted to split it by assassinating the leadership. There is no plumbing in my house I shit in a brass bucket with a picture of Gonzalo and Deng french kissing in the bottom of it. My house is actually an overturned T34 in an abandoned junkyard in Wisconsin. I have a single friend in this world and it is a tapeworm named Bordiga that I met after ingesting spoiled borscht on 9/11 in the ruins of building 7 (I blew it up after finding that a nominally leftist NGO inside of it wasn’t sufficiently anti-imperialist, the attacks on the world trade center were a perfect revolutionary moment for me to enact direct praxis against liberalism). My source of income is various MLM schemes in the former soviet bloc that have been running for so long no one remembers who I am, they just keep sending money. I have not paid taxes since McGovern lost the Democratic nomination for president and my faith in electoralism died more brutally than my childhood dog after it got into an entire jar of tylenol. I own 29 fully automatic rusted kalashnikovs and three crates of ammunition entirely incompatible with them or any other firearms I own. My double PHD in marxist economics and 18th century Swiss philosophy (required to understand Engels) sits over the fireplace of my home, my fireplace is a salvaged drum from a 1950s washing machine that was recalled for locking children inside of it. I chose that washing machine model on purpose because I am anti-natalist. During the latest BLM protests I firebombed a Nikes outlet in the middle of a peaceful candlelit vigil. William F Buckley and I wrote hatemail to one another for 47 years until my final letter gave him an aneurysm. The only water I drink is from puddles. George Lucas and I dropped acid together during an MKULTRA southern baptist summer camp and he went on to write the movie Willow about our time together. The best way to test whether an electrical wire is live is to drool on it and shrimp salad is racist. You can make an IED out of potassium and the instructions are online thanks to Timothy McVey, who was actually a committed antifascist communist slandered by the deep state as part of operation condor. Every time a liberal files a restraining order against me, I carve a mark into the wall. I am running out of walls. When Amerika finally collapses I will be ready to lead the revolution. I am very smart and people like being around me.
It was a T-34, though.
