- cross-posted to:
- theonion@sh.itjust.works
- cross-posted to:
- theonion@sh.itjust.works
WASHINGTON—Saying the plight of white South African farmers affected him on a deeply personal level, President Donald Trump issued a statement Thursday in which he shared his own experiences as a victim of white genocide.
“I’ve kept quiet about my past out of a fear that I could still be persecuted, but I too know what it’s like to live under a Black president who wants to see your entire race destroyed,” said Trump, adding that he had narrowly survived the attempt to eradicate white people and their culture by hiding for months in his 126-room Palm Beach resort.
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I see the word onion but I fully believe this is true
We’re living in a post-Onion world.
Reality’s fucked, Putin’s dream is realized.
Every time lately, I gotta check and make sure it’s satire.
Oh man I totally ate it.
It took me way too long to realize this was theonion.com. Because he really is just crazy enough to spew this shit.
Trump was actually victimized by the Central Park Five. After they didn’t rape that poor girl, they entered Trump Tower, disguised as a cleaning crew, and found their way to the penthouse. They broke into Trump’s private residence and, summoning superhuman strength, pinned him to the floor. At that point, one of them pulled out a can of orange spray paint. And that is why Trump is who he is today.
White genocide. It could happen to you.
Poor guy, I never even knew he was such a victim.
I hope his head gets crushed in a vice.
He’s dead now, right? Brain dead, RIGHT???
🧅
