Saying the plight of white South African farmers affected him on a deeply personal level, President Donald Trump issued a statement Thursday in which he shared his own experiences as a victim of white genocide. “I’ve kept quiet about my past out of a fear that I could still be persecuted, but I too know what it’s like to live under a Black president who wants to see your entire race destroyed,” said Trump, adding that he had narrowly survived the attempt to eradicate white people and their culture by hiding for months in his 126-room Palm Beach resort. […]
Hot damn, this sounded so f*cking plausible that I didn’t even get that it was satire until I started typing a comment…
Holy shit. It almost got me too
I’m fairly sure this was posted by a time traveler from next week
Yeah, they were probably skipping around trying to find the exact moment catastrophic economic collapse happened in the U.S. and accidentally forgot where they were on the timeline before they posted the article, makes sense and maybe they had a school report due tomorrow they were rushing to bullshit and get done about the stunning rise of fascism in the 2030s and how it sent the world careening into war? (everybody knows that story already, it has been told a million times why is the teacher making us do this?).
I happened to check the community as I was opening up the article, cuz I totally ate that onion.
i got to the link and saw it was the onion and breathed a very shallow sigh of relief
President Trump also announced that construction would begin on a White Genocide Museum in Washington, D.C. once several museums commemorating the history of less important races had been razed to provide the space.
Yet again an onion article killing it with the last sentence.
I ate this motherfucker… Reality is getting to me.
I ate the onion for sure
Brave.
We can only get so hard.
I love how he emphasizes WHITE genocide, you know, the important type, not those typical ones where brown people die, these are white people so it’s serious!
