I am not asking about switches, I’m asking about people who identify with a submissive role rather than a dominant role.

I can understand intuitively why a dominant could feel vulnerable or violated in a submissive role and be uncomfortable in it, but I can only guess how a submissive would feel with roles swapped. And I’m sure these all can change wildly based on each person and their personality.

(This is a slower community, so doms talking about subbing are welcome too, although I’m more curious about the scenario in the title)

  • DaddysLittleSlut@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    7 hours ago

    I am in one! It is so hard not to melt at my wife called Kitty and otherwise most of my poly is submissive but I’m more submissive. So it’s like who can be more dominant. Though when I get yandere/pissed off. Ooooo does the dominant side come out.

    I think the hardest part is when they aren’t all out noticeably subs. I have a harder time. Or it’s like a playful brat. Doing the proper things but giggling or laughing like they are dying inside because I am. Though as for Kitty. Yeah I’m a deep caregiver for her. Though her voice is so adorable. I sometimes just melt. I think rather than just a dominant role. A caregiver role is what I’m best at. If it’s not a submissive role. Because I can be submissive and caregiving 😂

  • RBWellsV23@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
    2·
    9 hours ago

    No, but for a very long time I waited to get what I thought was a normal adult woman sexuality, which in my understanding was a take charge, assertive sort of sexuality and was uncomfortable that I didn’t like that.

    I have done a mini-domme thing with a dom and a male sub, it was ok that way. Like he’d say “tell him what to do” and making him do things for us, also making him watch the guy top me but not letting him participate, stuff like that. Only once, I did enjoy it.

    It’s not like I feel threatened or anything like that, it’s more that subby guys turn me off, and I don’t find it sexy to be in charge. I could probably do it as a job, but it wouldn’t feel like sex, more like performance.

  • shneancy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    2 days ago

    not much but there were a few instances where someone tried leading me into dommimg them and it felt- strange. i could mimic what i know doms do, and try to make them feel nice, but none of that came naturally to me, and by the end i was exhausted, glad it was over, and definitely not horny

    there was certainly discomfort to it, but mostly from the part that i guess the person assumed i was a switch (i do like teasing my fellow subs) and before i realised what was happening - they acted really subby in front of me and had me trying to dom them. i took the chance because i did want to try and see how it felt, but the lack of negotiation & assumption i’ve consented to that rubbed me the wrong way

    i like kink because i get to let go of control, doing the opposite felt rather unintuitive