“Putin can come race karts with us.”

Plus Bowser actually looks good topless.

Honestly? I’d rather have Bowser over any real world dictator. Bowser actually gives half a fuck about his minions and domain, while looking sexy as hell in the process. That’s a step up from the “real deal”.

I’m still kinda looking forward to the Mario game where Mario goes after Peach only to discover, at the end of the game, that Peach is actually in love with Bowser and that Mario just committed mass murder out of a misogynistic, misplaced belief that Peach can’t defend herself or pick her own partners.