I think I’ve had like two dates from in-person meets, and if I put effort (without paying) into it I can get like 1-3 dates a week on the apps. I’m not a model or other outlier.
I live in an urban area and put effort into writing messages. The bar for men is really low.
Every date is a roll of the dice and you’re hoping for that Yahtzee. Or at least a four of a kind. If you’re making four rolls a week you’re probably going to find it faster than one a month.
You’re also don’t have unlimited time. You probably don’t want to find your first big love when you’re 70, when you could instead find one at 30.
And to be clear, I wouldn’t recommend going on a date with just anyone with a pulse. Check your deal breakers and shared interests first.
Of course, you could do app-dates and from-real-life dates at the same time.
This also assumes you, like me, have boundless energy for dates. I know people that are exhausted just leaving their house once.
hey i like your overall points but i need to point out that it’s SO much more than “rolling the dice”. i do agree that quality over quantity is more important when dating. and that means not just “how good are they” but really “what kind of person are they?”
you may have 3 dates a week via apps, but they’re all with people who use dating apps, in a dating app context. not trying to put anyone down, but it’s just different than meeting a friend of a friend at game night or something. so to use your dice metaphor, it’s more like praying for a nat 20 while rolling d6s.
It’s more like “friend of a friend” is a +2 circumstance bonus, and you’re rolling 1d20 + Investigation vs DC 17. It helps, but it’s pretty small. You can stack bonuses on your profile (eg: Good Pictures +3, Good Profile Text +2) to get a similar effect.
Also a lot of my friends’ friends aren’t people I’d want to date.
There are so many people using dating apps in 2025, it’s not a big filter. If this was 1997, then “meeting people online” would in fact be a very small slice of the population.
When I was younger I sometimes tried to go out with people I was friends with first. The rejections were worse. I’d still have to see her all the time at social events.
There was also a lot more “oh! She’s cool! Shit. She’s seeing someone. And doesn’t date men.”
The apps let you filter for a lot of stuff right up front. Don’t have to waste time pining after people that aren’t available.
Someone from the app says no or doesn’t click? Back into the aether they go, never to bother me again.
To each their own, if it’s working for you, but there are a lot of things dating apps can do better. Capitalism just shits up the place, as usual.
I think I’ve had like two dates from in-person meets, and if I put effort (without paying) into it I can get like 1-3 dates a week on the apps. I’m not a model or other outlier.
I live in an urban area and put effort into writing messages. The bar for men is really low.
All of that said, fuck the capitalist hellscape.
Quality over quantity, bruv.
I don’t think that’s really applicable here.
Every date is a roll of the dice and you’re hoping for that Yahtzee. Or at least a four of a kind. If you’re making four rolls a week you’re probably going to find it faster than one a month.
You’re also don’t have unlimited time. You probably don’t want to find your first big love when you’re 70, when you could instead find one at 30.
And to be clear, I wouldn’t recommend going on a date with just anyone with a pulse. Check your deal breakers and shared interests first.
Of course, you could do app-dates and from-real-life dates at the same time.
This also assumes you, like me, have boundless energy for dates. I know people that are exhausted just leaving their house once.
hey i like your overall points but i need to point out that it’s SO much more than “rolling the dice”. i do agree that quality over quantity is more important when dating. and that means not just “how good are they” but really “what kind of person are they?”
you may have 3 dates a week via apps, but they’re all with people who use dating apps, in a dating app context. not trying to put anyone down, but it’s just different than meeting a friend of a friend at game night or something. so to use your dice metaphor, it’s more like praying for a nat 20 while rolling d6s.
It’s more like “friend of a friend” is a +2 circumstance bonus, and you’re rolling 1d20 + Investigation vs DC 17. It helps, but it’s pretty small. You can stack bonuses on your profile (eg: Good Pictures +3, Good Profile Text +2) to get a similar effect.
Also a lot of my friends’ friends aren’t people I’d want to date.
There are so many people using dating apps in 2025, it’s not a big filter. If this was 1997, then “meeting people online” would in fact be a very small slice of the population.
This is so weird to me. I’ve only ever dated people I was friends with first.
When I was younger I sometimes tried to go out with people I was friends with first. The rejections were worse. I’d still have to see her all the time at social events.
There was also a lot more “oh! She’s cool! Shit. She’s seeing someone. And doesn’t date men.”
The apps let you filter for a lot of stuff right up front. Don’t have to waste time pining after people that aren’t available.
Someone from the app says no or doesn’t click? Back into the aether they go, never to bother me again.
To each their own, if it’s working for you, but there are a lot of things dating apps can do better. Capitalism just shits up the place, as usual.