LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]

  • 25 Posts
  • 64 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: August 18th, 2023

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  • Rant about my shit ass housemates

    I hate these people so fucking much. I work at a bar, and I’m literally better off staying at the bar after work to stay sober than I am going home. One of these bitches was complaining about being sick last week, so half of us (the responsible ones) went to urgent care to get tested for covid/flu. The one that said she was sick DIDN’T GO, and the other asshole that didn’t go didn’t go because she “doesn’t get sick”. She obviously got sick. Now I have a sore throat because these assholes couldn’t mask or take any precautions.

    In other things that are more minor, one of these fuckers keeps stealing my coffee and coffee creamer while I’m at work. And I know I’m going to come home to a sink full of dishes and mugs from using my shit and not even picking up after themselves. Literally can’t have anything nice without these people ruining it, AND THEYRE NOT EVEN ON DRUGS ANYMORE SO THEY DONT EVEN HAVE AN EXCUSE!

    I’m going to come home and they’re going to either be watching fucking Madea or listening to butt rock. Just gonna lock myself in my room and take my anti-psychotic early so I can be at work as long as possible tomorrow

    In positive interactions, I was struggling carrying my groceries to the public transit stop yesterday, dropping shit all over the place, and a couple of nice bystanders helped me carry them the rest of the way to the stop, so that made me a little more positive towards people.

    My public transit driver today is also very nice, so that’s really cool :)



  • I’m sober nowadays, but psychedelics are the only drugs I can look back fondly on without any reservations. Might do them again some day, just not anytime soon.

    Honestly I think it depends on setting and mindset, I can think of a few trips than fundamentally changed who I was as a person, whether that was making me realize that I could be trans, or helping me see how much of a hindrance my own ego was. In the same vain, I can think of many trips where I was easily manipulated by others, or overly sure of my own thought patterns. The difference between these trips was usually the headspace I was taking them in. The life-changing trips, I was tripping just to trip, expecting nothing out of it. The ones that harmed me long term, I was seeking guidance from the drugs when I should have just trusted myself in the first place.

    I also wouldn’t say ego death would be what you seek for your depression/cynicism, ego death is kinda overrated in psychedelics. Sometimes beautiful, but it’s more the sort of thing you work your way up to instead of going for it right from the get go. You can get all the benefits off a trip at lower doses, although I don’t really fuck with micro dosing unless you have a specific plan for it.


  • Bump amber whataboutism

    And I can’t speak for your relationship specifically, but if you’re doing everything you can to make rent and you have a good partner, you’re not gonna get dumped. Will they maybe be frustrated with the situation? Sure, finances in a relationship are a huge stressor, but a good partner is going to emotionally support you through this as long as you’re doing your part. You’re posting on here looking for work and assistance, which shows that you are. You’re not expecting them to just fix everything while you do nothing, you’re just stuck between a rock and a hard place financially between school, rent, and just surviving. I’m sure your partner will understand. And if they don’t? Then maybe getting dumped is for the best.

    Idk, I’ve been in similar situations before, more often than not my partner understood. And when they didn’t and ended up leaving me, my life got better for it, yk? Best of luck friend.