The new movies are just such dogshit it’s incredible really
I only watched the first two but it’s remarkable how it’s never made clear exactly what the scale of the conflict is. They treat the first order exactly like the empire even though they should be a lot smaller. I don’t know why there’s a resistance when they support the government that’s already in place.
They’re just so bad on every level it’s remarkable. I can’t get over how fucking stupid it is to have the first one basically be a shot for shot remake of A New Hope. We didn’t need it, we already had A New Hope! Then i think the next one is the one that I basically think of as the OJ Simpson car chase, but in space.
Like the fleet’s chugging along being chased by the other fleet until they like run out of gas or something? Uh okay? That’s dumb as fuck? And the cast just like leaves and comes back?? Uh? Okay?
And then iirc they run out of gas and that’s when they’re like okay im going to turn my ship into a relativistic superweapon… which like just really breaks the setting for me because using a hyperdrive as a weapon is like, war changing technology that entirely obviated the need for the fucking death star or starkiller base or whatever, like, you could just make huge hardened ships and have droids hyperdrive them into a planet’s core at that point, why not do that instead, that’s better than a death star!
Like it just raises so many questions of well why the fuck didn’t anybody do that before? Or ever after? And if they had just done that at the start of the fucking movie they could have saved the entire rest of the fleet AND THEIR PRECIOUS SPACE GAS
god the fucking chase where they can leave and come back but the bad guys can’t jump an interdictor in the path of the fleeing ships
people thought of the hyperdive missile thing years ago and there’s books in the bin that got a little into “that’s not how those work”
and people like rogue one or whatever but all the new shit has depictions of ships visible from the ground doing hyperjumps which just completely undercuts the drama of the escape from tatooine because you’re not supposed to fucking be able to jump from gravity wells.
fuuuuck everybody actually in charge of star wars fuck disney i want those Sword of the Jedi books they were gonna publish about Jaina Solo
Nobody should be allowed to make media for nerds unless they’re also nerds ugh
you get the first thing to be creative and do whatever you want, after that it belongs to everyone and you’re just a steward
“All fiction is fan fiction” stays winning
yeah but some fiction being connected to other fiction makes it more interesting instead of treating every episode of a tv show as its own universe
I came up with the hyperdrive idea when I was in middle school drawing a comic about an Ewok and a Jawa if that speaks to the level of creativity at play
In Rian Johnson’s defence, supposedly he wanted Leia to do the hyperdrive ram and it was changed to Holdo later by executive meddling.
Which would excuse why it’s never been done before, because only a powerful force sensitive could time it right. Like Luke hitting the exhaust port etc.
Too early you just hyperdrive away, too fast the shield/tractor beams/gravity well if taking planets prevents it.
The first was tolerable (not good), the second felt like rushed ideas mish-mashed together and the last…it made zero fucking sense at all. It’s like that wrote that one in a cocaine fuelled week stuck in the writers room.
The first was tolerable (not good)
Yeah but that’s only because A New Hope was good!
The chuds whined so hard that Kylo Ren wasn’t a Mary Sue so of course he got a rushed redemption arc and Rey had to be rewritten to magic pixie Kylo back to the light.
The whole right would have blown a gasket and riot in the streets if Rey just rightfully incinerated Kylo with force lightning in the last jedi.
…the first was manic fanfic; i suppose whether that’s tolerable depends on the audience…
it also shows that everything Luthen and the rebellion are doing to build an army is also completely unneccesary, since The Rise of Skywalker shows they just needed was to send one broadcast to the galaxy and a gigantic pro-democracy privateer army would materialize at their specific coordinates and fight coherently .
the sequels were some dumb, story wise.
they are literally the original trilogy told again. despite their super weapon being destroyed, twice and their fleet being destroyed, they suddenly have a new upgraded superweapon (that does the same thing, but more bigly) and an even bigger fleet, and the big baddie is literally a clone of the old baddie, and the conflict is saving the antagonist (Vader/Kylo) from the big bad and making them an ally.
I cannot even articulate how little I gave a fuck when I realized there was absolutely nothing new going on. no new villain, no new stakes, no new strategy.
I thought it would have some new perspective or context, but no it was just luke hiding on an island because he was a shit teacher until he’s convinced to stop whining and do his job.
fuck those movies.
i’m surprised y’all hate the idea that the liberal republic formed after the defeat of the empire eventually begets more fascism, like the first order was a cash grab but it’s also accidentally the most leftist turn star wars could have taken with the sequels, especially with all of the secondary media like rogue one/andor showing that all of the principled ancoms like saw gerrera were killed, leaving mon mothma and a monarch to lead the alliance lmao
we’d be more into it if they showed it on screen like the only good thing the prequels did depicting the fascism rising in a liberal democracy
This is why in the Rey movies it will be revealed that they established a communist regime
until Mikh’alor Gorbath-Shev sells out the regime to Pizaa Hutt, the shadiest crime lord in the outer rim
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I wield the ability to disregard canon. For example Poe and Finn did end up together.
there’s no such thing as canon after disney bought it. wish the old continuity manager had a gun and said “no” a few times to lucas and filoni
They ended up in a throuple with Glup Shitto
Nope, the new republic thrives while the empire becomes the remnant (led by twenty clones of the emperor who all fail and die and also grand admiral thrawn who uses race science to win battles) and the galaxy is invaded by the totally normally named yuzzhan-vong who are like organic force-resistant borg
Yuuzhan vong? More like im usin’ the bong
not really the borg. not really the zerg either because their like x-wing equivalent was tough as shit so they were a threat militarily and to the couple dozen jedi at the time.
Certified Vong Enjoyer here, they were cool and good actually
i liked that they were actually wiling to upend everything like that rather than stagnating the galaxy, and “blah blah absent from the force” is an interesting challenge.
Wish more they had gone into rebuilding/recovery from the conflict and all the terraforming though
Reading the wiki made them sound cool but what’s the coolest media about them? We’re they just in some of the books?
Some books and comics basically. They were controversial for deviating from the tone of a lot of previous media, but I quite liked that honestly. The first media they showed up in was the book Vector Prime, but it was a part of a loooong running series including extended character arcs and running plots so it’s kinda a terrible place to start…
I actually only know about them from glancing through wookiepedia once.
Idc sequels not cannon
