Who gives a shit
YDI
Like it or not, it is a widely known fact that the exact things you said are instance bannable.
The instance rules as they exist are explained in multiple places, and it is our choice as users to either follow them or stay away. If we choose to do neither of those, banning is the only real tool an admin has with current lemmy development. If there were other options available, and the instance ban was applied as a first step, I’d say PTB (though it would be PTA in this case).
Seriously, I get that the world as a whole, and each given language has to figure out what is and isn’t a gender, what is and isn’t going to become part of the consensus of a language. I have my own opinion about that line, but this isn’t the venue for that.
But that instance, they have drawn their line, and did so last year, before the events in these screen shots. It’s like travelling to another US state, there are going to be some laws that differ, and it’s the travelers responsibility to follow them even if they disagree with them, or there are consequences.
I get it, I do. But, I’m sorry, this is absolutely on you.
The problem here to my mind is that this was a ban for a “thought crime” and it was on another instance. OP always uses peoples preferred pronouns, even if he thinks they don’t make sense, as in this case, so he hasn’t broken any instance rules afaik. Is there a rule about not being allowed to even discuss neopronouns? On another instance? That is getting very dystopian imo. Unless someone can point to a rule that says you can’t even discuss the topic of neopronouns, then this is clearly a case of over-reach imo. PTB
Am I going nuts? I thought I saw this exact post like 2 weeks ago with all these comments, but now it shows up 2 hours old.
Both PTB and YDI.
They might have some militant admins, but you’re also arguing about pointless shit.
Absolutely PTB
Welcome to the club lol.
Blahaj admins lurk all over the Fediverse and ban people who haven’t even posted or commented in their instance.
Just like reddit mods who autoban you for commenting in random communities.
This account was banned just for saying these things in another YPTB post.
It’s blahaj zone, at this point it’s old news that they would literally welcome a person in blackface acting a caricature of a slave into a racially diverse community. They believe you hate mockeries of minorities because you hate minorities. I’m 🤏 very close to blocking the whole instance. So counterproductive.
Dragons aren’t even real. An occupation, hobby, or sexual preference isn’t a gender identity. First and second person pronouns aren’t misgendering. So stupid how long that has went on. I’d get banned from the whole instance for this paragraph. Hey guess what, lines need to be drawn, and those who cross it should be removed. Would you want a Minecraft fan calling their Minecraft enjoyment a mental disorder a prominent figure in a community for people with mental disorders? Call out the fakers and ban them ffs. Yes, you can fake being transgender. For starters, you can’t fucking transition into a dragon rider.
Edit: noticed more pictures on this post. Didn’t dragonfucker literally harass draconicneo with porn, nudes, death threats, and suicide encouragement like? Why is draconicneo defending this good for nothing bully who never grew up? The gate should be kept to exclude offensive caricatures and fakers used to make minorities look bad. Hey guess what, they exist.
Ugh what’s next, defending actual cis men playing in women’s sports to win more and going in the women’s restroom to rape people? Right, calling that out would be gatekeeping too huh? Yeah, that’ll definitely have less people side with transphobic politicians. I hope blahaj does not get big like bluesky, they are literally setting LGBT rights wayyyy back to nazi germany at this point.
The gate should be kept to exclude offensive caricatures and fakers used to make minorities look bad. Hey guess what, they exist.
They wanted freedom for marginalized folk to explore their gender identities - this is valid. Unfortunately, in search of that, they decided that that meant that no discussion or dissent could be made as to where the lines are on what gender is, or even whether there should be lines. This is gibberish.
I hope blahaj does not get big like bluesky, they are literally setting LGBT rights wayyyy back to nazi germany at this point.
Nah. Of all the factors sending LGBT rights backwards, backlash against weird groups who don’t know when to stop isn’t one of them. Would be like blaming racist backlash in the late 70s and 80s on Black Supremacists emerging during and after the Civil Rights movement. Or sexist backlash in the same period being in response to Lesbian Separatists and the like. Such people exist, and they’re silly, but they’re not influential on a scale larger than… well…
This. Here. Small communities.
Just so we’re clear. I’ve never defended dragonfucker in any way shape or form. Dragonfucker is an evil person who is utterly and completely beyond redemption.
Do not misrepresent my words here. What you and OP and people like you have done is to all attack the idea of neopronouns and xenogenders and defend gatekeeping and blatant transphobia. I do not support gender based gatekeeping in any way, and the dismissal of all neopronouns and xenogenders is offensive and harmful.
Ultimately when it comes to people like dragonfucker it ends up making a bad situation worse. It ends up making people think their only crime is “pRoNOuNs” and it makes it harder to actually speak up about them. When everyone was complaining about dragonfucker’s pronouns I wasn’t able to share what really happened effectively because of idiots drowning me out because they were upset they had to respect pronouns and refused to point out the real reasons dragonfucker is a troll and an evil person.
Honestly, you should’ve just known to not engage. Nothing productive will ever come out of it. That troll was already banned a long time ago, why dredge this back up?
LITERALLLYYYYYY like get over ittttt!
OP has actively said dozens of times they don’t intend to participate in any LBZ community ever again and has blocked the instance. Whether the rule is “good” or not aside, it’s so cringe of OP to be butthurt about it.
YDI
You were banned by Ada because you keep dying on the hill of whether Drag’s pronouns should be respected or not based on dragons being fictional creatures that don’t exist in real life. This is the thread that got you banned: https://lemmy.world/comment/15410416
Drag was very obviously a troll and deserved to be called out for constant shit-stirring, but it’s not up to you or anyone else to decide whether their pronouns should be respected or not regardless if it’s a troll. Especially in an instance designed to provide a safe space for LGBTQ+ folk. Making such a big deal out of Drag’s neopronouns not only distracted people from the very real problems Drag was causing with their shitty behaviour, but also made people rush to Drag’s defense because it made them look like a victim rather than the instigator of drama and harassment they really were. You can call someone out for being shitty without resorting to bigotry, whether you recognize it as such or not.
Of course, Drag’s gone now (well, until they make yet another alt) so this doesn’t really matter anymore, but your continued gatekeeping of their pronouns is what ultimately led to your ban. This wasn’t just a random ban, you brought it on yourself. Pick better battles next time.
Drag was very obviously a troll and deserved to be called out for constant shit-stirring, but it’s not up to you or anyone else to decide whether their pronouns should be respected or not regardless if it’s a troll.
As explicitly mentioned, at no point did I intentionally fail to use Drag’s preferred pronouns.
Making such a big deal out of Drag’s neopronouns not only distracted people from the very real problems Drag was causing with their shitty behaviour, but also made people rush to Drag’s defense because it made them look like a victim rather than the instigator of drama and harassment they really were.
Yes, yes, everyone else forced you to run to Drag’s defense. It’s like being in a US church again. Anything unwise the in-group does, they were forced to by the out-group
temptingluringmanipulatingprovoking them into doing it.Of course, Drag’s gone now so this doesn’t really matter anymore, but your continued gatekeeping of their pronouns is what ultimately led to your ban. This wasn’t just a random ban, you brought it on yourself. Pick better battles next time.
You mean “continued gatekeeping of Drag’s pronouns”
Drag is a troll, and when you lie down with dogs you get fleas.
Don’t compare that troll to dogs
Dogfucker will be the next gender to be defended, don’t worry.
“My gender is a quintuple-spirit, a label I’ve created; I believe my gender identity combines elements normally included in different gender labels and I feel NB is too broad” - Conceptually valid. I can’t say how true or ‘deep’ any given gender label is, but I’m generally inclined to let people be themselves and try to assist them in their journeys of self-discovery, whether this is where it begins or ends. Rock on, Spirit-Of-Many-Spirits.
“My gender is a chair.” - Nonsense.
I think of the streamer and event organizer Deakula who is nonbinary and had a decently large list of labels they identify with, and like while I don’t really entirely get it as I can’t relate, it makes sense.
Dragon rider however isn’t a gender identity and has nothing to do with gender.
You’re really laying it on thick here how much you love queer people. Slippery slope fallacies galore.
“Gay people wanna be married? What’s next, men and dogs?! Men and chairs?!”
You’re really laying it on thick here how much you love queer people. Slippery slope fallacies galore.
“Gay people wanna be married? What’s next, men and dogs?! Men and chairs?!”
Dragons, apparently. Didn’t realize Dragongender was acceptable but Chairgender wasn’t. Sounds like someone caught the transphobe disease 😲
It’s blahaj though, so it’s not really a huge loss. Let them circle the wagons around an embarrassing little troll that mocks transgenderism.
Yeah, I’m not really upset over it per se. Like I said - I haven’t even used any Blahaj comm in months. I just thought it ridiculous that I caught an instance ban from an instance I no longer use because I posted, on another instance entirely, criticism of the idea of ‘dragonfucker’ as a gender.
Putting your current situation aside, would you find it reasonable if another user got banned from Blahaj from transphobic statements on another community?
Or would you expect the Blahaj admins to wait for that user to make such statements on their communities?
Putting your current situation aside, would you find it reasonable if another user got banned from Blahaj from transphobic statements on another community?
Not particularly? I regard bans for off-comm behavior as ridiculous, speaking as a mod. Off-instance behavior seems doubly strange, and I’ve commented on such incidents before.
Furthermore, the issue of whether this is transphobic is, itself, core to to the point - most people would not regard the existence of dragons as a matter that relates to transphobia at all. Yet to Blahaj, it would seem an instance-bannable offense - regardless of whether you’re on their instance at the time of the comment, or even if you post on their instance.
Or would you expect the Blahaj admins to wait for that user to make such statements on their communities?
I would expect the Blahaj admins to not be prowling other instances for thoughtcrime.
YDI
- As said below, this was an instance ban, which Lemmy shows a bit weirdly.
- Come on. It’s just a pronoun. All the arguments for respecting neopronouns apply here, and blahaj accepts and asks all to respect neopronouns.
- Saying “I identify as <my own name>” is not anywhere close to the attack helicopter dogwhistle.
- Say drag did identify as a dragon. Gender is a construct anyway. How is someone identifying as what they make of a gender any different from someone identifying as neutrois or andersatyr?
- You died on this hill, and these are the instance rules.
- I’m pretty sure there was a rule here saying “stop posting about dragonfucker”?
Saying “I identify as <my own name>” is not anywhere close to the attack helicopter dogwhistle.
I don’t get how a dragon is the more reasonable fact pattern over an attack helicopter?
Are y’all fantasy world biased and discriminating against the enjoyers of credible defense?
Come on. It’s just a pronoun. All the arguments for respecting neopronouns apply here, and blahaj accepts and asks all to respect neopronouns.
I didn’t disrespect Drag’s pronouns. As I said in the screenshot, even, I made an effort to not misgender Drag.
Saying “I identify as <my own name>” is not anywhere close to the attack helicopter dogwhistle.
Drag explicitly said their gender identification was a Dragonfucker. And they clarified on numerous occasions that they meant a fucker of literal dragons.
How is that not close to the attack helicopter dogwhistle?
Furthermore, Drag explicitly defended and praised the attack helicopter dogwhistle as an example of the kind of genders that should be respected - and numerous folk on Blahaj agreed.
Say drag did identify as a dragon. Gender is a construct anyway. How is someone identifying as what they make of a gender any different from someone identifying as neutrois or andersatyr?
Gender is a construct in the same way that language is a construct. That it is fluid and flexible does not mean that nothing means anything.
You died on this hill, and these are the instance rules.
Bruh, I’m not on Blahaj. I didn’t say this on Blahaj. I haven’t said anything on Blahaj since I left.
I’m pretty sure there was a rule here saying “stop posting about dragonfucker”?
Not to my knowledge, though I guess I could’ve missed it? In any case, this isn’t about Dragonfucker so much as it’s about Ada coming in to a conversation on another instance and deciding to ban me from a bunch of comms that I don’t interact with anymore for the sin of saying dragons aren’t real.
You’re still mad about this? YDI.
I don’t misgender you when you say something stupid, because I don’t misgender anyone for being stupid. My girlfriend held me emotionally hostage for the final 3 years of our relationship, and I don’t misgender her despite me helping her come to terms with being trans and helping her transition.
I get it Pug, you’re just really wanting to do something dehumanizing to someone you don’t like. I don’t like Drag, and I also don’t like Grail. You know what I did? I blocked them both. I didn’t go “well sure you identify as that, but fuck you I don’t wanna bother with any of that.”
Weird how no one tries to argue for the right to deadname or misgender horrid people who’ve committe actual horrid actions, but someone was a dick on the internet? “I NEED TO NOT HAVE MY FREEZE PEACH REMOVED TO CALL SOMEONE SOMETHING THEY AREN’T”
Pug, you’re a smart person. I know you are. You have written about complex topics decently well to where I can understand it. I don’t think you’re somehow a secret transphobe, you just have a blind spot you can get a better mirror to have an introspection at. I’ve had my own issues with neopronouns that I am still working on myself. A friend of mine uses it/its pronouns, and I have a hard time to use it when speaking, but not in text. I’ve also had biases with other statuses of people they can’t control, such as plural/systems.
How many months have you been hung up about Drag? It’s more than your time could have been spent with something better about yourself or those around you.
You’ve been told repeatedly by Ada and other admins “Stop it, you have no proof they’re lying about their pronouns, you can block and move on.” and you kept going. If the shoe was on the other foot where a Tankie constantly bothered you, you’d advocate for them to be banned from their instance/places you frequent.
At some point Pug, you have to learn to be better. You’ve had months. It takes time to learn better, no one is perfect out of the womb. But I don’t think you are trying to learn, you’re just drawing a line in the sand of “Well I can agree with everything about queer people but these queer people, they bother me.”
I get it Pug, you’re just really wanting to do something dehumanizing to someone you don’t like.
Uh, is that what I want? Drag is incidental to this at most.
How many months have you been hung up about Drag? It’s more than your time could have been spent with something better about yourself or those around you.
Again, Drag is incidental to this at most. If you want to make this an issue of my personal feelings, it would be far more correct to say it’s about my personal feelings on Blahaj and how the admins handled the entire situation. I would argue that my personal feelings on the situation certainly make me more acerbic, but that the fundamental argument is still about questions of principle, and I don’t appreciate when I get tarred as a transphobe for daring to have any sort of disagreement and leaving Blahaj because of it.
You’ve been told repeatedly by Ada and other admins “Stop it, you have no proof they’re lying about their pronouns, you can block and move on.” and you kept going.
What the fuck are you talking about?
At some point Pug, you have to learn to be better. You’ve had months. It takes time to learn better, no one is perfect out of the womb. But I don’t think you are trying to learn, you’re just drawing a line in the sand of “Well I can agree with everything about queer people but these queer people, they bother me.”
Man, all of this effort you’re going through to defend an indefensible position is insanity. The idea that no gender can ever be questioned under any circumstances is not an affirmation of anyone’s gender; it is a denial that gender means anything at all.
Uh, is that what I want? Drag is incidental to this at most.
Then why are you still crying about this online drama after months? It’s like if I constantly complained about an internet argument on reddit that happened in October of 2024. “I’m not bothered by it, I just gotta keep posting about how much I’m not bothered by it!”
Again, Drag is incidental to this at most. If you want to make this an issue of my personal feelings, it would be far more correct to say it’s about my personal feelings on Blahaj and how the admins handled the entire situation. I would argue that my personal feelings on the situation certainly make me more acerbic, but that the fundamental argument is still about questions of principle, and I don’t appreciate when I get tarred as a transphobe for daring to have any sort of disagreement and leaving Blahaj because of it.
“Sure I don’t listen to the trans admin, I don’t listen to the trans people across several instances, I don’t listen to any trans people telling me I’m wrong, but I’m actually an ally!”
Hey guess what, I have disagreed with people and I’m not called a transphobe when I do. Or racist. Or sexist. Or other things. This just reminds me of “It’s odd how da liburals won’t let me say something, they always call me racist when I call out Obummer!”
What the fuck are you talking about?
The fact that Ada and others have given you time to learn from mistakes? Does time not exist to you and that’s why you think complaining about one user for weeks is considered normal? Am I mistaking you for another PugJesus from lemmy.world who has had this issue pop up before, not just with Drag?
Man, all of this effort you’re going through to defend an indefensible position is insanity. The idea that no gender can ever be questioned under any circumstances is not an affirmation of anyone’s gender; it is a denial that gender means anything at all.
I’m personally an AMAB masc enby. I present masculine, but I am curious about if I am trans or not. I don’t know if I am perfect for talking about gender, but lemme try to also state something. I have trans friends, enby friends, and agender friends. To all of them, how they express their self is important. That is often gender, sometime it’s a lack of gender.
I have a good friend who’s name is Bugs, pronouns are it/its. I personally have a difficult time wrapping my tongue around it in casual conversation without personally plotting the sentence ahead of time. Bugs has said that it enjoys the fact that it/its makes it feel inhumane, because it never felt human. It relates to Data from Star Trek, non-human but made in the image of humans. The fact that Bugs wants the it/its pronouns is good enough for me. I don’t go “Well why should I do that? Give me proof you actually want that.”
I don’t personally think gender is a hard stance on anything, the common ideas of gender expression/identity were “solidified” in the Victorian era. There’s been dozens of non-western gender identities that don’t fit into or conform into our idea of masculine/feminine/non-binary. For some trans people, being hyper-feminine is important. For some trans people, being hyper-masculine is important. Pastels and pink, flannel and grilling.
But I also have a trans masculine friend who is exclusively He/him, named himself Incubus, and has a feminine voice, enjoys pastels and pink, browses Tumblr, does a lot of “feminine” things but doesn’t give a shit that it is, due to those things make him happy.
I personally don’t care what someone does if it makes them happy unless it involves a non-consenting adult. Drag involved non-consenting adults by harassing people. Drag is a massive fucking asshole. I will not defend Drag harassing others, and you can check my profile. But someone’s actions aren’t an excuse to just go “Well I’ve decided that since X thing bothers me, I don’t wanna do the X thing.”
I don’t understand why you just refuse to let go of Drag, and this in general. Again, Pug, you are a smart person. I don’t consider you an enemy to me. I consider you to have faults, like I probably do and I’m not aware of them. My friends have faults, both cis and trans and enby. But I do expect adults to eventually let go of online drama that doesn’t affect them. As you yourself have said you had little to no interaction with Drag.
You can let it go, not even learning better. Just move on. You aren’t.
Then why are you still crying about this online drama after months? It’s like if I constantly complained about an internet argument on reddit that happened in October of 2024. “I’m not bothered by it, I just gotta keep posting about how much I’m not bothered by it!”
“Why are you upset over being called a transphobe?? Why did you have to defend yourself??”
Uh.
Might be because I don’t feel that denying the existence of dragons is transphobic, and I deeply resent being labeled as such?
“Sure I don’t listen to the trans admin, I don’t listen to the trans people across several instances, I don’t listen to any trans people telling me I’m wrong, but I’m actually an ally!”
Okay, so what about the trans people across several instances who agree with me? They don’t matter?
Only ‘your side’ matters. Identity is just a bludgeon for that.
Hey guess what, I have disagreed with people and I’m not called a transphobe when I do.
Careful, you denying chairgender might put you next on the list.
The fact that Ada and others have given you time to learn from mistakes? Does time not exist to you and that’s why you think complaining about one user for weeks is considered normal? Am I mistaking you for another PugJesus from lemmy.world who has had this issue pop up before, not just with Drag?
You must be, because I can only think of two times when Drag has come up for me at all - once when this whole shebang went down, and once when we had a chance encounter in a thread a month or two ago. Gender is a topic I very rarely discuss.
I have a good friend who’s name is Bugs, pronouns are it/its. I personally have a difficult time wrapping my tongue around it in casual conversation without personally plotting the sentence ahead of time. Bugs has said that it enjoys the fact that it/its makes it feel inhumane, because it never felt human. It relates to Data from Star Trek, non-human but made in the image of humans. The fact that Bugs wants the it/its pronouns is good enough for me. I don’t go “Well why should I do that? Give me proof you actually want that.”
Okay? Like I said. I used Drag’s pronouns. So that clearly isn’t the issue you want to read into this.
I don’t personally think gender is a hard stance on anything, the common ideas of gender expression/identity were “solidified” in the Victorian era. There’s been dozens of non-western gender identities that don’t fit into or conform into our idea of masculine/feminine/non-binary. For some trans people, being hyper-feminine is important. For some trans people, being hyper-masculine is important. Pastels and pink, flannel and grilling.
But I also have a trans masculine friend who is exclusively He/him, named himself Incubus, and has a feminine voice, enjoys pastels and pink, browses Tumblr, does a lot of “feminine” things but doesn’t give a shit that it is, due to those things make him happy.
Okay, good for all of those people? I enjoy playing with dolls, I hate filth (in the literal, not moral sense), I have no mechanical aptitude, and I browsed Tumblr religiously until the Great Porn Ban. I didn’t actually consume any porn on Tumblr - I actually used to rib a friend for ‘tasteful’ nudes coming up on his feed - but I felt obliged to quit in solidarity.
Gender presentation is not what is being argued here, nor whether Drag was too masculine or feminine by the standards of Western society to fit as any particular gender.
I don’t understand why you just refuse to let go of Drag, and this in general. Again, Pug, you are a smart person. I don’t consider you an enemy to me. I consider you to have faults, like I probably do and I’m not aware of them. My friends have faults, both cis and trans and enby. But I do expect adults to eventually let go of online drama that doesn’t affect them. As you yourself have said you had little to no interaction with Drag.
I guess I’m not allowed to defend myself being called a transphobe in the present day. I just have to lie there and take it. RIP.
I don’t consider you an enemy, for what it’s worth. I recognize your username. I’ve seen you around. But this is a ridiculous hill.
