hop on my admin account and hide your really really good posts so that mine get more attention

Chaos magic: visualize the praise you expect to receive while jorking it.

I remember last year there was a week where I made a couple of comments that people replied to with “GOOD post” and I legit have kept chasing the high since then.

I show it to my partners so they can pat me on the head and say “good post babe”

I hit refresh a lot. I let my anxiety take the wheel.

Get anxious over a minor grammatical error ofcourse.

look at other posts

my genius is only to be discovered in the case of my death so I won’t have to deal with the social anxiety of being famous

Keep posting the same thing until it gets the attention it deserves.

Accuse everyone of not being a good leftist and/or being problematic.

Can’t relate

that never happens to me. all my posts do numbers. people always tell me im really cool and pretty but also mysterious yet approachable

What would you do if your post was at home
Crying all alone on the bedroom floor
‘Cause he’s hungry?
And the only way to feed him is to
Sleep with a man for a little bit of money
And his daddy’s gone
Somewhere smokin’ rock now, in and out of lockdown
I ain’t got a job now
So for you this is just a good time, but for me this is what I call life
Mmm

Post more. Always post more

I make a second.
Then a third.