What kind of narcissistic fuck refers to himself as “high value man”
It’s taking the piss out of Andrew Tate and the gullible guys that he’s convinced are superior to women.
From all the trending news articles, ten year old boys who got access to tik tok
it’s definitely not just the ten year olds that think this shit.
Mentally, they’re all still ten-year-olds.
Yeah, shittiest shit stains figured out they could blast on Tik Tok. And Tik Tok sees no problem inserting these videos between “why do we use cinnamon on everything” and “why is the sky blue”
iirc, doesn’t china explicitly not allow such shit on their version of tiktok? so it’s just letting america cut their own throat basically?
They’re probably just milking the market.
Just trying to get em while they’re young.
I still have both kidneys, so I’d say I’m pretty “high-value”
I still have both kidneys
So, if a date says you’re “potentially a great match”, clarify “organ donor or personality match”, okay?
Gestures wildly at the men, many in positions of power, around the world, who very obviously would do that.
Same vibes when guys call themselves kings, or girls call themselves queens.
I’ve seen it in screenshots people have taken of posts from various “man-o-sphere” influencers on places like Twitter. Obviously the problem with them saying it is that none of the guys referring to themselves as such are actually worth knowing, let alone dating.
A manosphere twat, that’s who.
Just look at this thread. How many people in this thread are acting superior to her because she has an only fans or because of some other stupid reddit reason. The people are acting “high valued” and superior even if they dont say it. She’s literally using this comment to tell readers that these peoples opinions have no influence on her life, and all its doing is making them more upset. To me, that’s why this comic is funny
Yea, it’s kind of a shit show. When I posted there were no other comments yet.
I’m surprised people are being offended by the comic. Just because it’s about a narcissistic asshole who never grew up after high school, doesn’t mean that represents everyone.
I took it as a “Don’t judge a book by its cover” kind of message. Also loved the humor of the woman’s sarcasm. Why do people have to make it about race or gender?
Leon Musk, for example.
Let me guess, someone who’s such an egregious self-important A-hole that they are unfuckable? But I’m just guessing.
Narcissus was always trying to dodge annoying suitors, so I don’t think he’d want to call himself high value in that context.
The kind made of straw
Seriously – my wife takes 0% of my bullshit, and that’s such a great quality. Just sayin’.
I love seeing these comics. You can always count on like 20 white males showing up asking how this is funny, that it’s a strawman, that pizzacake is terrible, blah blah blah.
The simple thing is, they are comics that give a flavor of the times. Males ARE acting this way. Is it a caricature of a scenario, sure, but that’s what a fucking comic is. Does it have to be “funny” in order to be a comic? No, there are political comics everywhere. Why does pizzacake only get this sort of ire? Is it because she’s calling out white males on the absurdity of their actions, and they don’t like it?
My advice? Chill TF out bros. It’s a comic. If you don’t like it, maybe you should talk to your buddies when they start acting like Andrew Taint’s mouthpiece. Toxic masculinity is a real issue. Sorry that it takes a fucking pizzacake comic to discuss it…
As a white male, I’m not going to disagree with you on any of this.
Related to the content: personally I like opinionated, loud mouthed women. I don’t classify myself as a “high value” male or anything. I mean, who the fuck is that arrogant? I’m not poor, but I’m certainly not rich. I’m much closer to being poor than I am to being rich… But that doesn’t say much.
In any case, the content is funny. It’s an exaggeration of the kind of reaction that people tend to have to dickwads sharing their unsolicited opinions with strangers who don’t care what you think.
I love that it is shining a big fat spotlight on the shitty behaviors that self proclaimed “high value men” think is ok. It’s not ok. Stop it. Get some help.
It’s shameful to share a gender with these degenerates. I am ashamed of my gender because people like the one depicted in the comic, exist. And they’re not a trivial amount either. There’s a good number of them, and it’s fucking embarrassing.
To anyone butthurt about the contents of the comic: first, relax, it’s a joke. Second, how about you treat everyone like they’re a fucking human being? Instead of putting people into little boxes like “high value” or “male” or “female” or whatever, how about you throw all that bullshit out and just see humans. Regardless of race, gender, preferences, religion, anatomical features, disabilities… They’re all human beings deserving of some measure of respect. And don’t give me any shit about “respect is earned”… Fuck you. You need to have a basic level of respect before you can prove yourself as someone deserving of respect; otherwise any action you take will be seen as the feeble flailings of someone nobody cares about to earn some kind of clout.
Everyone should be given a base level of respect until they prove that the respect granted to them for being a human in our society, isn’t deserved.
For everyone else who may still be reading and didn’t get butthurt by a comic: stay frosty.
I don’t think my race or gender matters when it comes to finding things funny. And I thought this comic was funny.
I also don’t think it matters what the race or gender is of the person being an asshole in the comic. That had nothing to do with the comic.
Oh, I agree. I’m right there with you.
I was specifically addressing butthurt white males.
I, personally, couldn’t give a shit what race/gender anyone is, they’re a living human deserving of respect, the kind that isn’t demonstrated by the asshole in the subject comic.
The only reason I’m calling out white males, specifically those that feel butthurt by the comic and have no sense of humor, is because the previous poster specifically cited that group. I’m a member of the white/male group, so I wanted to speak bluntly “man to man” style to any future visitors. Oh my, there are so many issues with referring to it that way; I’m just going to leave it and hope it comes across correctly.
In any case, anyone, regardless of their race, or gender or anything else you can classify people using, has different behaviors or thinks differently (better or worse) about others based on gender/race/whatever, then they’re an asshole.
I will judge others based on the content of their character. That doesn’t make me better than anyone else, I’m only stating my intent. If the content of your character is trash, then I will judge you for the trash you are. If you’re trying to do right, despite falling/failing sometimes, then thats worthy of more consideration than the trash humans mentioned earlier.
I couldn’t possibly give any fewer fucks what color your skin is, or what you have in your pants. Be whatever you want to be, just don’t be an asshole.
Thanks for that but also crazy that you have to explain it. Guess it’s needed.
The description that resonates with me is that you agree with what she says but cringe at how she says it. I think it really comes down to the fact that the comics are never deeper than surface level. I’d enjoy them if my takeaway was ever more than “well, yeah…”
For some people, surface level is enough.
Tbh the planet is full of obnoxious, insufferable, outright cunty artists of all stripes…but it’s this one that’s a personal affront.
Gee. Wonder why.
“alpha” males chill tf out challenge:
IMPOSSIBLE!!!1
It’s only funny in a very cringe way.
The issue with pizzacake is that her behavior demonstrates that she doesn’t oppose this kind of behavior because it’s wrong, she opposes it because it’s directed at her.
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both can be true?
Can be but are not.
Nuance? On my Internet?!
sorry! i’m new here…
Crazy how many folks can’t scroll past something they aren’t interested in. And not thoughtful critiques. Just whining really. Their delicate eyes witnessed it, thus they were compelled to come make a comment.
I don’t think I’d ever find it appropriate to whine in the comments of a user’s post, over a post breaking no rules. I have, and would… just scroll by.
I don’t see “No Pizza Cake” in the rules… why would someone think it would just never show up?
I think it’s basically internet law at this point, if Pizzacake is posted, cranky men must make it known that they find her (and her comics) cRinGe and mEdiOcRe and also she’s a mAnHaTer (dontchaknow).
And yet they subscribe to her OF
No, they don’t.
Methinks he doth protest too much.
So you honestly think people who can’t stand her, subscribe to her OF?
Do you spend a lot of time on Fox News? What about Teslas? Do you have one? No? Big fan of Christianity? No? Well, that MUST mean you go to church! Right?
Where do you people find this broken logic?
What I posted was what we like to call a joke. Actually it was a well trod reference to Hamlet by William Shakespeare.
See, the thing about humor, it’s often irrational. I’m not going to get into a grounded debate with you, as you do not deserve the energy and much like a pigeon, are perfectly happy to shit everywhere and fly off when you’re bored.
But for posterity, it doesn’t really matter if you do or don’t pay for her OnlyFans, it only matters that it bothers you. And that tiny little twinge of shadenfruede warms the cockles.
What I posted is what we like to call illustrative sarcasm.
And what is funny is that you think my illustrating your bad joke is a representation of what bothers me without ever having known who I am or what I’m about.
lol
I basically made you illustrate the argument against her by your own example.
I judge her on what she has said and done. You’ve judged me on who you need me to be so your opinion appears to be valid.
i mean, the best punishment for bad art is lack of engagement.
I don’t think pizzacake is a troll (as in makes bad comics so it gets negative engagement), but here we are.
People complaining about her in the comments actually helps her.
if you don’t like it, just move along, don’t give hold her in your head like that zen story about crossing the river with a girl.
I’ll be honest, I kinda wanted lemmy to not have the same mentality as the audience of r/comics who just straight up hate all men. But it looks like these comments are kind of a warzone. I wonder if the mods from that sub have any power here? They defend her from even polite and constructive criticism.
Bro, I wouldn’t call this “hate all men” content. If you think all men (or even a majority of men) are like that guy, you need to rework your thought patterns.
I was similarly disappointed. This kind of humor isn’t funny at all. It’s just a made up scenario to trigger people. I can’t prove that it’s b8 but, if it’s not, it’s damn close.
And not thoughtful critiques. Just whining really
So just scroll past it if you don’t like it?
Feeling called out?
Are you? I haven’t whined on this post, so that’s a weird accusation to make. Methinks you’re projecting, sorry your delicate eyes witnessed an opinion you don’t like.
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This comic is neither funny nor thoughtful. I’d say it’s getting the critique it deserves.
I found d it funny. It’s almost like funny is a subjective thing.
Who is pizzacake and why do so many commenters dislike them?
From the comments, it seems the artist herself isn’t well liked.
From knowing nothing about the artist, but having seen a huge bulk of these comics: Maybe they’re incels. 🤷🏻♂️ These do tend to be about toxic masculinity and just bad male behavior in general. It’s like seeing a Republican hating someone because that someone they hate calls out Republican bullshit. Considering the vagueness of the hate expressed in the thread, I am leaning toward this being the actual case.
Or maybe because she threatened illegitimate DMCA take downs of parodies on r/bonehurtingjuice resulting in mass censorship of any criticism of the fact that one of her comics was insensitive to victims of male sexual assault.
https://www.reddit.com/r/bonehurtingjuice/comments/1ggn4a6/pizzacake_posts_are_now_banned/
Yeah… Based on all the relevant info and links there, I definitely don’t think the hate is actually based on “illegitimate DMCA” takedown requests.
Yeah, no. A male SA survivor expressed sincere perspective, claiming the original comic insensitive. It was the top comment before it was removed with many other responses. Just read the posts linked in the comment below the one I shared. It’s not incel garbage (mostly), she’s an intolerable Karen. She’s got the mods censoring that sub, it’s one of the reasons I left reddit. (I’ve been banned multiple times for expressing these facts.) They ban people for being critical. I think hating her for being unfunny or having an only fans is dumb. On the other hand, hating on her for being an unapologetic asshole is fine. She’s earned it.
Edit: just read the convo
https://www.reddit.com/r/bonehurtingjuice/comments/1ggn4a6/comment/lurmced/
literally reads the thing they linked and still doesn’t agree with them
“Bro just read it until you agree with me.”
Just read it again, but harder. Then you’ll agree!
Don’t they lock your ability to make new accounts when you get banned?
They reversed my ban from the comics sub after appealing.
It’s still extremely problematic that this being painted as incels vs pizza. She has had bad takes on free health care, male survivors, and equating all criticism to misogynistic haters. She doubles down and never argues in good faith.
I really like BHJ. It’s fun and chill. She just didn’t like that people were being critical of her takes. The mods were actively removing hateful content and responses. They expressed willingness to help remove any offending content.
Now, you can’t even mention her name on the sub without threat of ban. It’s ridiculous that she’d try DMCA against something so clearly fair use. Weaponizing it like that isn’t even legal. The mods couldn’t be bothered to fight it though.
I politically agree with her mostly and find some of her comics sincerely funny, but she’s still being a dick.
Toxic PCC fans strong on Lemmy already? This community is a lost cause
“It’s about journalism, dammit!”
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I have no idea what their deal is but one comic sure did cause a lot of butthurt.
Being a misogynist overbearing male asshole makes one unfuckable. They are the probably bitter about having that obvious truth pointed out to their dumb asses.
For real. Their ideaology is so twisted. They think that in order to attract women, they should be a what a man’s idea of an attractive man is. And instead, being what a woman would find attractive is somehow… gay? Like, I just don’t get it, like there’s a very fundamental misunderstanding of what it is they are trying to do. Very square peg in a round hole situation.
She’s very reddit
Have a good read, it’s interesting if you like manufactured drama for the sake of publicity.
Huh, that comic and the responses makes me realize how much people can’t notice their own blind spots, including within the comic itself.
Like in this section with people saying it’s exaggerated or nobody actually talks like that (because they don’t ever perceive it in real life and it seems to ridiculous to be real), and the comic referenced in your link where she says if men were responded to that way, because she apparently can’t see that it is how men are responded to for many of those things, because she’s so used to seeing women as the victims of that stuff perpetrated by mostly men (which is reasonable! What situations would she see the opposite?). What’s telling, though, is the way one side pegs her as a misandrist for it and shit on her work and herself for it, and the other side pegs those for being misogynist for taking issue with her (though, in fairness, some are and will hate on anything by a woman discussing problems for women).
Basically, I feel like this is two groups yelling past each other and being upset about the same issue: gender-based mistreatment. But another key thing is… well, the guys who happen across her comics should recognize that it’s a comic equivalent of TwoXChromosomes from Reddit: it’s by a woman, largely for women, and you should either skip it or read it for a glimpse of a perception you normally don’t experience, not something to argue over. And the women, just like with 2X, should take this stuff with a grain of salt (especially when someone presumes to know what men’s experiences are). Stuff is exaggerated to pinpoint an issue, but you shouldn’t let it poison your view of the world (or men).
Basically, I feel like there’s value in comics like PizzaCake’s, but the heavy commenting should be expected, not hated on. The most value people can get from it would be hearing other perspectives without insulting them for having a different one than your own. Except the actual misogynists (and misandists), they can fuck off, but I think it’s worth giving the benefit of the doubt to start.
I saw that thread and honestly wanted to comment something like this, but I thought it would be better to let it go unsaid.
And she refused to even acknowledge that she might suffer from the same blind spot she is accusing others of.
Edit: the archive link : https://archive.is/xfVPD
well, the guys who happen across her comics should recognize that it’s a comic equivalent of TwoXChromosomes from Reddit: it’s by a woman, largely for women, and you should either skip it or read it for a glimpse of a perception you normally don’t experience, not something to argue over.
So, to cite the devil, as men should not interject in women’s spaces when misandrist tropes are being normalised there, so women should not interject in men’s spaces when men are normalising misogyny.
I don’t know about you but I don’t think that’s the solution to society’s issues. In fact, we should have a standard of both sides policing their own spaces against harmful tropes.
Probably misogyny.
The art is incredibly bland, the points they make are very surface level, and the artist is an awful person.
So many people think they’re owning the libs or whatever by posting them.
Some people just seem to find low hanging fruit to their tastes.
No idea why, though if I had to guess, it’s probably because it takes no effort to understand any of it.
Like how children play with blocks. They’re easy.
That’s a very good way of putting it.
How dare you
wait, is this what I think it is?
I’m at a loss for words
Honestly if someone is referring to themselves as “high value” anything then it’s pretty clearly a low value thought. Doesn’t really matter who they are.
If they have anything of high value, it may be their component parts. Lightly used kidneys are at a premium right now.
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You forgot her threatening to sue a subreddit for critizing and making fun of her comics. There’s a reason why some people don’t want her comics here, and that’s because she’s toxic as fuck
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I’ve honestly never encountered this artist and don’t know any of the drama around them.
Can I say her art style sucks just to win the prize for a bingo though?
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You can go ahead and cross off not funny, lame, and looks like AI while you’re at it.
Weird how people get so parasocially attached to others, to the point of whiite knighting
They do this every time someone posts a Pizzacake comic, it’s very strange.
thou doth protest too much!
I couldn’t give a flying shit about the artist.
I just enjoy poking at the incels that clearly feel emboldened to flame the threads every time PCC gets posted.
I mean, it’s literally every single post. It’s getting old and boring. So, I made the bingo card to spice the turd stew up that y’all make.
is it not hot enough for you? don’t worry, I’ll make it extra spicy for you next time 😘.
What’s old and boring is PCC’s fan army defending her and her mediocre comics (while simping her OF) at every turn, being just as toxic as her.
Make it spicy how? You gonna sue me like PCC tried to sue a subreddit for critizing her comics?
The only people mentioning her OF are guys like you who get riled up when someone does sex work to pay their bills. Please tell me where she so relentlessly advertises her nudes in her comics and where people in this thread “simp” (and I don’t mean defending the fact that she has one) for her OF.
“Criticism = incel” is a great, quick litmus test for identifying shitty people.
The irony is that the vast majority of people who use “incel” as an insult also tend to dissonantly believe that value judgments of women based on virginity are immoral, lol.
Yeah, but to be fair, the threads linked here from r/BHJ are Chernobyl-level toxic, and they seem to think they’re the victims.
I’m happy to be honest, I agree with some of these (obv not the bitch slut or nazi ones). You need another square pointing out how the r/comics mods defend her to a kind of insane level, and definitely give her preferential treatment over other comic artists.
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as you can see I drew myself as the Chad and you as the soyjack, so I win
Legitimate criticism of someone isn’t incel behaviour bruh
you’re right.
consistent criticism that hits each of those nine points on every single PCC post doesn’t denote incel behavior.
it’s still pretty pathetic though, that none of these incels have the self control to ignore a post and go into a blind rage when they see a comic. Only to feel the uncontrollable urge to berate an artist that clearly isn’t on this platform. like, who are they trying to convince? sad.
the bingo card is mostly entertainment for myself just so I can keep laughing at them while these comics keep getting posted.
I’ll probably make more every time I see PCC get posted.
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I think I saw three of them in the comments already!
Don’t know the artist besides what hits the front page here
Isn’t it kind of fucking awesome that douchebags are getting owned?
I’d say four of these are accurate.
This made me chuckle out loud thanks for sharing! Do you mind if I share it in !Witchesvspatriarchy@lemmy.ca
That is a very strange place.
Don’t make me cast a spell on you…
Can you cast fireball?
Very useful for a BBQ.
As long as you’re at least 7 squares away, preferably further.
Not an adherent of the six I’s i see
I feel like this is one of those conversations you make up in your head and it’s kinda cringe to write it down.
From my experience men often underestimate how often women face weirdos. While the whole conversation might happen only in authors head the initial comment of the guy is quite a regular thing. It is a form of bullying. The rest of the conversation might happen in the authors head only, but it’s sad that women have to face such behavior in the first place IMO. If you don’t think such conversation happens at all, you might get enlightened by the everyday sexism project, the related (audio)book, or just ask a friendly woman around you if they ever faced it. https://everydaysexism.com/
Actually it is a regular thing among the asshole “manosphere” crowd (i.e. the pathetic fucking losersphere).
You’ve had this conversation?
No but I’ve seen it. I’m not a manosphere wacko
I brought up an example of a specific sexist and controlling behavior I observed (guys holding their wives or girlfriends by the neck while walking across the street, like they were steering a chicken) in a meetup group and all the men around me said they had never seen it. The two women said they both had experienced it.
Repeat this a thousand and one times with other behavior I and presumably you, as men, will never have to experience but are just as real.
Lemmy is 97% Linux users
Aka, high value men
These programming socks have no gender
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There is a whole generation of men being indoctrinated right now that believe women shouldn’t have any rights. Most feminist women on Instagram that I have seen have gotten a multitude of rape and murder threats.
It is nice for you if you never noticed the rampant sexism and general hatefulness that people on the internet show against any minorities they find but I’ve seen several instances of similar exchanges as shown in this comic just in the last two weeks.
Sure, misogyny exists. I’m talking about somebody referring to themselves as “high value” and calling the person they’re talking to a “loud-mouthed, opinionated wench”. It’s just really heavy-handed dialogue.
Those people unironically say stuff like “I wouldn’t even rape you” and call women that don’t look like they are about to die of anorexia fat. They exist in spades, Lemmy just isn’t the right kind of social media for those people to come out with such stuff (except for maybe this post).
No, but I thought about having it, so basically the same thing, eh?
I can see this as a twitter exchange for sure but irl it seems very shower thoughtesque. It could be that a very online person framed it as an irl thing and that what’s jarring.
Then again I am not a woman and cannot speak to that experience.
Why is a typically online interaction being shown as if in person so jarring? If anything, the interaction happening online where they would be unlikely to date anyways makes it even weirder when someone says it.
That is true it is weird af online too. Such a weird thing the way online and in person discourse is so divergent.
Just look at this thread. People are out in force acting superior to her and putting her down for having an only fans. Theyre providing unsolicited feedback, acting “high valued” without even realize theyre doing it. This comic is showing how she sees the unsolicited feedback from these people on the internet, and calls it out as it is, inconsequential to her life. And what do those very same people do? Get even more upset.
Frankly, i knew nothing about this lady before this thread happened. It’s been a wild ride for me to follow
I didn’t even realize she did nudes in her patreon until someone mentioned it. He of course totally hates it but periodically checks on it (to see if its still there and shes still doing it) using a website that skips the paywall.
Big shower-arguement energy for sure.
When you consider the source….
Turns out, lemmy has a massive misogyny problem going on ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yep. Came to the comments and immediately saw they were out in force. I mod !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al and although the majority of men who’ve turned up have been great, we’ve had some misogynists mansplaining and being petty. Fortunately we’re women only
Lol i saw over 300 comments and thought “the real comedy is gonna be all the tears”
And by gawd theres a whole evening’s worth of laughs here.
Wooo! Keep em coming boys!
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I’m not talking about people not thinking this is funny.
I’m talking about people saying the situation in the comic is entirely fictional and doesn’t regularly happen to women especially online.
People who say this is manufactured to make men look bad because women hate all men obviously.
Who here in the comments is saying anything that would justify your accusation? All I’m seeing is people saying the comic is cringe and mid and exaggerated, not that it’s the tip of the propaganda spear of some misandrist defamation conspiracy.
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I’m not, because I share that identity and am culturally allowed to joke about it, but still don’t find your joke funny.
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Wow, some folks need to remember that online life isn’t real life…
Please, go touch some grass before you scare some normie by talking about your favorite/most-hated web comic.
pizzacakecomics has actually accurately portrayed the way men are treated before:
First panel of that comic here
I see you, dutifully trying to cover all the slight and misinformation in here with proper attributions and context.
It must be exhausting.
Thanks for effort, and don’t forget to breathe and keep hydrated. Thanks for trying to hold community together.
The context is that pizzacake knows how men get treated and then tries to say that it’s all hypothetical.
Ah. And I thought the artist had actually made a good point.
You think the treatment of men by women is bad? Wait till your whole family dies, and then other men tell you to suck it up.
Or tell you to “keep the peace.”
Is this genuine and unaltered? I’d have assumed it was an edit.
Yep, I think the comic was called talk. Here’s another unedited pizzacake slide that shows how women act towards men who’ve done nothing wrong. This one is extra credit because, to her audience, the guy in this is the villain:
Full context to that panel:
How does she look more reasonable when taken out of context?
Because you can excuse your shitty behaviour to anyone for anything if you make enough excuses to yourself.
Guilt free being a cunt. It’s not your problem you’re a cunt to someone, you’re innocent!
Since we’re adding context, I’ll also point out that her community largely views the last guy as worse than any of the first guys.
As someone who used to be a guy… this hits
It’s even better in it full context
I wonder if you’ve really never seen this panel in its original context, or if you’re just a troll. My money is on the latter.
Why does her actually interesting work never get posted here?
Truthfully she doesn’t have a lot of interesting comics, most of it is very mediocre.
Burn the witch! To the town square
Damn this comic has L A Y E R S
At first, I thought people were exaggerating by calling her comics a strawman, as the situation mentioned in the comic above happens too commonly.
I did a little digging and found this deleted thread.
To my surprise she turned out exactly like people she seems to be calling out.
Edit: added url
Edit 2: She didn’t respond and went radio silent on people who shared their experience and called her out.
Edit 3 : Found this in the same thread
lol, this feels like the convo in a nutshell…
Alice: “Bob, I’ll bet you could never imagine what it would feel like if X happened to you.”
Bob: “Actually X has happened to me.”
Alice: “Jesus fucking Christ, Bob! Not everything’s about you!”
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I’ve seen the worst from both sides. Everyone with either a testicle or an ovary can sit right the fuck down.
But that’s just it, right? Your experience is an outlier in the typical male experience. I myself have never experienced those kinds of things, but I am sorry you have.
The problem is, that women experience these types of things far more than men do. It is wrong that it happens to males as well, but that type of sentiment (hey, guys have it bad too!) is exactly why the slogans “All Lives Matter” versus “Black Lives Matter” is a huge deflection on a problematic issue.
Sure, all lives matter, but when there is a disproportionate amount of black people having actions happen that put their lives in danger, re-framing the argument only serves to obscure that reality even further.
I think it’s important to realize there is a time and place for grievance, and when it is someone trying to relate their struggle, it isn’t helpful to mention “well yeah, I have it bad too”. Imagine saying that to a widower: “you lost your wife? I lost my husband and my son!” Comparing burdens does nothing to address the suffering of another, and it doesn’t bring to light the scope of the issue when it is a group that experiences more adversity than another.
The fact of the matter is, we live in a male-dominated society, and as such we experience a much, much different reality than women do. Same with minority ethnic groups. And to marginalize those already marginalized groups even further by bringing up our (very real at times) struggles feels like a slight to them.
I do believe that there is a very real need to talk about toxic attitudes held towards things that happen towards men, which is important because it is mainly due to our status, these issues are all too often swept under the rug or minimized because those things “don’t happen to men”. That is wrong, and is a very real problem.
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Of course everyone has varying experiences, I’m not trying to flatten that fact. When I say “typical” I’m refering to the fact that these types of incidents are more prevailent as an experience by women under the subjegation of a patriarchical culture that gives males a disproportionate amount pf privilege and status in such a society. I myself mentioned in my original post that it isn’t right for this to happen to men any more than women, but I think it’s disingenuous to claim these are equivalent experiences. I mentioned minorities and prejudice, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to state that racism against white people, while it does exist, is a much different thing then what is experienced by minorities. Trying to create a false dichotomy equating male’s experience of sexual harrassment with women’s undermines the severity of the problem by trying to act like it’s a gender neutral issue, it isn’t. We can address both, but it would be wrong to conflate both as the same, we can draw parallels and definitely see lessons from each’s perspective, but we can’t paint both with a broad brush if we want to address what is the core issue with both.
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I hard disagree with your position here, including your allegedly heinous example of bonding with a widow because you also lost your SO! Can you imagine?! Humans bonding over a common experience?
All Lives Matter isn’t fucked up because it believes that all lives really matter, that surface explanation is actually quite virtuous until you learn the context surrounding it. It’s only when you find out it came about as a rebuttal by racists to the Black Lives Matter movement that it starts to take on a sinister note.
The GP saying he gets raped and assaulted by women too is not in any way comparable to the all lives matter slogan and you’re delusional for drawing that comparison.
Women do experience these types of things more, everyone fucking knows that. We should not be dismissing men who are experiencing it too or telling them to hush up cause the ladies are venting right now. Instead we should be encouraging fellow humans to bond and find common ground so that we can move past this bullshit and deal with the real problems? The sexual assault perpetrators - who yes, are admittedly mostly men.
Why men commit more crimes in general is beyond the scope of our discussion…
including your allegedly heinous example of bonding with a widow because you also lost your SO! Can you imagine?! Humans bonding over a common experience?
I used that example, because I am a widow myself. My fiance passed a few years ago. I don’t mean to imply people do this out of malice, just that they try to “make you feel better” by relating to your grief, but unfortunately grief doesn’t work like that. When I am grieving, more than anything I’m just looking for someone to listen and understand, not try and tell me “it’s normal” or “this happens to everyone, don’t feel so bad”, because as genuine and heartfelt that sentiment is it is not helpful. I’m not immune to it either, I met a man on the bus who’d lost his daughter, and my first reaction was to mention my fiance rather than listen and let him let it out. I realized what I was doing and reflected about it later, I saw how he reacted and how sharing that type of pain doesn’t mitigate it, what you really want is to talk to someone without comparing tragedy. There is a time and place for that, but not in those moments of grief and pain.
Yes, I mentioned that explicitly in my comment, did you read all of it? I never said that it was okay for that type of thing to happen to men, and that we should talk about it. And just like with letting women have the floor, we should allow men to have it when the convo is centered on that issue. I don’t see what the issue with giving each issue their own time and space is, we need to have focus if we’re talking about two very different, yet similar scenarios, in order to have some kind of real way to find a solution proper to both.
Sorry you lost your fiancé, that’s awful.
I still don’t agree that finding common ground over grief or any other aspect of the human experience is a bad thing.
Sure when the man on the bus told you he lost his daughter if you had said “you think that’s bad, wait til you hear what I lost” that would be totally inappropriate. Telling him “I also lost someone close to me and know the pain and emotional turmoil that causes” is completely appropriate and is very human.
Any chance you’d be willing to dm me a selfie? Your stories are fascinatingly fucked up and I’d like to calibrate the level of attractiveness needed for women to become rapey savages.
Literally undressing you with her eyes.
Edit: i guess the old “literally” jokes died off.
Practically literally undressing
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Which deleted thread? The link takes me to an entire post and scrolling through that many comments seems a bit pointless.
4th from the top.
Thanks! I see both their points. The comic clearly was intended to point out women’s issues but if men resonate with that that’s fair too. There was a lot of gross stuff though in the rest of the thread(s). I wouldn’t say pizzacake was totally out of line, but it wasn’t particularly empathic, the way she responded. The comments by defensive men though… very wrong place, wrong time.
